


Where it all Went Wrong!

by JongkeyWedding



Category: SHINee
Genre: Comedy, M/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2019-11-06 01:56:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 36,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17930594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JongkeyWedding/pseuds/JongkeyWedding
Summary: Jonghyun is in his final year of highschool when he starts to realise that he is drifting a part from his best friend. As a final attempt to revive their relationship things don't go as planned. Yet with Jonghyun, things never go as planned.





	1. Sunshine and Childhood Headaches

Jonghyun opened his eyes. The sky was blue and a stray cloud passed here and there. It was those rare last summer days were the memory of beach and freedom were still clear. Jonghyun smiled at the thought. It was only four months or so since he had started his final year at high school. The idea pleased him, he didn't want to spend more time grumbling over obscure math problems or question the existence of life in biology. He could not wait for freedom. Yet what he would do after school was another question, now the answer was simple.

 

"I will just work or something." That is what he always said when his teachers asked him scoldingly what his plans were. Most of the time it was a follow up to the question of "Where is your homework?" Or "don't you want to go to university?" University, ha, that made him laugh. If he could not stand a book now why would he put himself through give or take another six years of the torture? He knew what he wanted, all he needed was a guitar.

 

That was a problem though. He didn't really have one. That is where the job idea came in handy. Now he just used the school guitar. Yet when he got out of here he had no way to touch that heaven's gift. He was not stupid enough to ask his parents. His mother would give him the money no arguing, but he knew that she would have to work overtime to meet months end. He was not that selfish. And his father, well let us just say that he was not in the picture anymore after they fought over the fact that Jonghyun refused to join the army of accountants.

 

Well, it was clear that that would fail. Mathematics was his worst subject, failing it a whooping three times in a row. He was okay with Korean though, literature to be precise. He liked all of it, though he was not one to like textbooks, a story always entertained him. He might not look it but he was well read.

 

"Your phone, someone is calling you." Jonghyun closed his eyes again. He didn't feel like picking up. Instead, he turned his head to the side. The boy that spoke was one of those flower boys, with his dark brown hair covering his forehead, hiding his thick yet perfect eyebrows, his pale flawless skin and high cheekbones and pouty lips now nibbling on the end of a lucky pen; Jonghyun’s childhood friend would make anyone stare. Kibum was his name and now Kibum was only paying attention to his textbook. He had not even reacted when Jonghyun laid down on top of the picnic table the younger boy was studying on. It was unfair that he now thought that his phone needed more attention than him.

"They are ringing again." He reminded Jonghyun as the phone started to vibrate on the wood where Jonghyun had put it. The hard surface made an annoying loud buzz. "Pick up." Kibum ordered. Jonghyun rolled his eyes and turned to stare at the clouds again. "I don't want to." If it was any other person that would talk to him like that Jonghyun would show him how many bench presses he could do. But this was his little Kibummie that was talking. The boy could get away with it. He had a way with blinking his pretty eyes and cute dimple smile to save his ass out of anything. At this point, Jonghyun didn't even bother anymore. It was just how close they were.

Kibummie was so different from him. He was a multi-talented student that had his ambitions. He was already bilingual at the age of fourteen and endend up first in his year’s math class too. To top it all off he was an excellent athlete if you counted swimming or dancing since he often complained when he needed to lift something heavy. Jonghyun thought that that may be a side effect of Kibum being too careful. The younger boy disliked putting himself in any dangerous situations. No moving large objects or getting dirty. Oh, Kibum hated getting dirty. He would not let you live if you spilled anything on his clothes.

The only one that lived to tell the tale was Jonghyun himself, though he got out of it with a couple of broken ribs. But that was all history, Jonghyun didn’t have any hard feelings towards it and Kibum only needed to glare to remind him what happened last time kimichi fell on his pants. That is when Kibum becomes scary, yet even the biggest cats didn’t like fire and Kibum’s fire was heights.

Jonghyun remembered one summer when they went down into the countryside with a couple of friends. They all went to this lake there which had a tall tower where men could jump off. It was maybe twelve-meter maximum but Kibum didn’t even dare to look at it. He remembered how the younger had desperately begged Jonghyun to stay on the ground with him. Yet this was the time to prove his manliness. Under peer pressure, Kibum took shaky steps to the top of the tower.

There he had a death grip on his arm and even though all the other boys jumped off without fear, Kibum had tears in his eyes. Jonghyun couldn’t leave him there. He wanted to jump but if he would go before Kibum, he would surely chicken out. Maybe they should jump together. Jonghyun had taken his hand and gently guided him to the edge with sweet and kind words. It would be okay if they jump together. The catcalls of the others below were teasing, imitations of chickens and so on. Kibum bit his lip. He hated failing at something.

Therefore, Jonghyun bribed him with his hand on his back. Promising that they would do this together. Jonghyun had even counted to ten and with a false sense of bravery, they had run to the edge just for Jonghyun to pull back at the last second. Kibum only had enough time in the air to turn his head, an expression of betrayal on his face before it all went to fast. Jonghyun heard the splash below and jumped himself. He was not fearing for his own life but the younger’s. Kibum was a good swimmer but not after he just jumped off twelve meters it seemed.

When Jonghyun had hit the water, the first thing he did was get to the still-sputtering boy. The second Kibum realised that it was Jonghyun pulling him closer he had fought with all his might, even screamed but that only caused him to inhale a large gulp of water and he was back to sputtering. Jonghyun decided that Kibum needed to get out of the water, now. He was not in any state to think about swimming and at this rate, he was going to drown.

Good thing was that the little beach was not far off and Kibum had lost the strength to fight him over coughing. It made Jonghyun’s life all the more easier, his last of that. The moment they had sand under their feet Kibum’s fire was back. Jonghyun found himself under the younger, his neck hostage under Kibum’s hands. “You idiot!” All Jonghyun could answer was his own spluttering. “How dare you betray me?!” He had a point. Maybe Jonghyun was turning blue around now. He didn’t really remember it clearly anymore. Yet it was still a cherished memory.

About that, Jonghyun wondered how many times he would get killed by Kibum until he stayed dead. The younger often complained about that fact. Jonghyun was an annoying fly and Kibum was a grumpy old cat. Though most of his friends would describe him more like a too happy carefree puppy. But those were unimportant details.

“Yes, Jonghyun is with me. Should I send him to you or directly to the principle?” Did Kibum just pick up the phone? The final year student turned his head so fast the vertebra in his neck complained. The younger blinked at him, his trick was successful. He didn’t even touch the phone, let alone pick it up.

“You’re so mean.” Jonghyun whined, facing the sky above again yet rubbing his eyes as if they had gotten teary. “Which class are you skipping?” Kibum had even put his pen down, his interest on the beat up pup. “Maths.” The hurt boy said like that was not obvious. Jonghyun heard the other sigh. “You know you are going to fail if you don’t even try.”

“I fail even when I try so what is the point? I’m a potato when it comes to numbers. Even if you try to tutor me, I just don’t feel like learning anymore.” Kibum had picked his pen up again and smacked the end of it he had nibbled up against Jonghyun’s forehead. An indirect kiss if you will; but that touch was nothing like the gentle gesture. 

Jonghyun let out another pitiful whine and rubbed his sore spot. “Well, at least go to your next class. And try to pass all the rest of your subjects. I don’t want you to fail just to be in the same class as I.” Kibum huffed. Well, to tell the truth, that didn’t seem like such a bad idea. That way Kibum had even less freedom from him.

The elder was disliking the time missed out since they were not in the same year. Before it never bothered him but now that Kibum had taken extra afterschool classes just to prepare for university, Jonghyun had the dreaded feeling of being left behind. Therefore it was perfect that his math period clashed with Kibum’s free period. That way he was sure that he could have a little of the other’s attention. Yet maybe, “You don’t have after-school class?” it was Friday and it would be torture to steal all the freedom of a teenage boy, right?

“Yeah, but I will go to the dance studio.” Jonghyun was fine with that answer. The dance studio was just part of the school gym and close. The elder could just do his own thing in the music room before picking the younger up. “Then you be really hungry after it. Want to eat at my mom’s?”

It was a strange way to say it but it was true like that. Jonghyun’s mother and a family friend worked together in a little restaurant selling quick and fast foods; Korea’s favourite gimbap or perfect ramyun. Oh, did he say that his mother’s Tteokboki was to die for?

“I can’t always take that advantage.” Kibum mumbled almost shyly. Being Jonghyun’s best friend and neighbour made it so that the kind mother didn’t except any of the pay for the food he ate. It all seemed so unfair when he got an extra mandu just for ‘being too skinny’. He ate just fine there but he didn’t like the feeling of being a freeloader.

“Oh, come on. Mom has already said it countless times that it is okay for you to come to eat. Plus it is no fun to eat ramyun alone, might as well eat it with me.” Jonghyun had a point there. Kibum was blessed with hardworking parents but that also meant that they never got home to kiss him goodnight. Maybe that was why Kibum was so attached to the homely feeling of Jonghyun’s house. With the shop taking over the first floor and the living room and bedrooms of Jonghyun’s mother and sister on the second; it was never quiet.

Maybe the top floor would be quiet but that is where Jonghyun sang his heart out. It happened to be that the window of their bedrooms faced each other. That and the fact that the fire exit for the two houses crossed there. There was a perfect little passage between the windows that would lead to a small emergency staircase that finished in a spooky back alley. Kibum never dared to go there. It smelled horrible and was all slimy and gross.

Yet Jonghyun found it all too useful. He abused the exit to get over and tap on Kibum’s bedroom window. It was a one-way track. His fear of heights and the fact there was nothing from keeping him from falling three stories high, he would never cross. He was fine with walking down the stairs and greeting Jonghyun’s mother as he passed through the shop to see Jonghyun’s face.

“Fine, pick me up at six.” Kibum said as he checked his own phone. He closed his books and got up. Jonghyun just watched a little lost before he too heard the bell. He had to go to Korean literature class. Something he was secretly looking forward too. But before that, he needed to prance his pretty best friend around the school. Jonghyun sat up and got his schoolbag before jumping off the table.

“Wait Bum! I will walk you to class.” The younger had gotten so used to the embarrassment already that he didn’t even try to stop the elder anymore. Within seconds his head start was ruined and Jonghyun flung his arm over his shoulder despite the height difference. It didn’t throw Jonghyun off. But then again, nothing threw Jonghyun off Kibum.


	2. Stealing Food

Key was only wearing his undershirt and basketball shorts that he had stolen from Jonghyun. The idea was funny anyways. Why would a person so short try to fit in in a sport dominated by tall giants? With that thought in mind Kibum had no regret with stealing said article.The beat was loud and his breath heavy. He stopped moving and hissed. Again. He walked over to the music box and pressed the reverse button on his MP3. At once the song he was dancing to repeated itself.

Kibum lifted his arms. The up beat music was a ted bit too fast, yet the boy remembered his moves. The way his body moved was like in the music video, but still a bit sloppy. Key hissed as he stumbled over the moves and step left instead of right. He had been doing that part wrong all practice already.  
Well, again. Kibum stopped and went back to the music box.

"You know it gets really annoying. You play the same song over and over again without getting to the chorus." Key looked and glared. His classmate Minho was standing there in the door way. "Shouldn't you be jumping over some sticks?" The sweating boy hissed, pausing the song for a little rest. He didn't feel like showing Minho how he failed and failed to get steps right.

"I'm finished. It's already passed six." Kibum rose an eyebrow at the newly found information. Passed six and Jonghyun was still not here? He must be in the music room. All Kibum did was roll his eyes. "They are closing the school gates soon, are you not going?" Minho had a point there. But with all calmness Kibum unplugged his MP3 and shut the sound system off. If Jonghyun was not here by the time he was ready he would leave alone. Minho just stared at him like he always did. A side effect of having too large eyes in a too small head. "Is Jonghyun supposed to be here?"

Minho knew, of course Jonghyun is supposed to be there. Kibum just nodded as he sat down in front of his bag. With a small ice bear face shaped towel, he wiped his face. "He is in the music room, probably oblivious of the time."

Minho bit his lip. Well, what should he do about it? "Should we get him?" He asked. He didn't really think that Jonghyun would like to see his face. The older student never really liked him it seemed. Minho was always ignored when he bowed and said his respectful hello. Jonghyun only had eye for Kibum. He had no interest in getting friendly with him.

That in a way upset the tall frog eyed boy. From what he knew, Jonghyun was a friendly funny guy. He always had a reason to smile, making people around him laugh. He was the type of guy that always wore his uniform wrong and knew everyone on every lunch table. Minho though; seemed not on his list.

"Bummie!" Speak of the devil. Jonghyun rushed passed the tall boy while stepping on his foot. Minho hissed but Jonghyun was already passed him. "Did you wait long for me?" The prettier of the two blinked at the newcomer with a bored expression. "Don't flatter yourself, Jong. I was just having a chat with Minho here." There were those type of moments that Minho was sure that Jonghyun would pay him a bit of attention. Until now though they had always been shattered.

"Good, I was worried that you would leave without me. You still want dinner, right?" Kibum nodded and Minho felt very out of place. The tall boy bit his lip and decided that that was all the luck he would get. "Well, I guess I will go home then. Bye Kibum." He waved at his classmate that gave him all the love back. He didn't bother with Jonghyun any more. While the other two lived just a walk home, Minho had to turn to the opposite street to catch the bus. He might as well go now and catch the earlier one.

 

~~~~

 

"It's not going good?" Kibum looked up. They were walking home at this point. "How did you know?" He asked as Jonghyun smiled an all knowing smile. "You were pouting at the ground. You always do that when you can't get something right." The younger sighed. Jonghyun had known him long enough to know all his little habits like that. "I can't get the hang of the choreography right, that is all."

"Ah, I know how that feels. Sometimes I try learning this song but I keep making the same mistake. It's like I learned the mistake instead of the right note." Key nodded knowing that feeling and hating it. "Just don't think about it. Next time try again." Jonghyun added before grabbing his wrist and pulling him into his mother's eatery.

"Umma! We are hungry!" He called out with a loud voice, completely ignoring the glares and shock faces of the people already eating there. The lady's smiled brightened at the sight of her loving son and dear 'son in law'.

"Aigoo, sit down! I was already wondering where you were. Sit down, sit down." Jonghyun's mother had already pulled out the chair of the table closest to the kitchen. Mrs Lee, the second cook waved at them. "Hungry, I'm sure. Boys your age always are~" she sang. She had a nice voice, often singing the traditional melodies to entertain silent or lonely guests. ‘There is nothing better than a song and food for a heavy heart.’ Jonghyun took those words to heart, always turning to the fridge the second he could feel himself pout.

The shop was not the fanciest, hell it would be one of those shops tourists would skip. The people the small eatery attracted were locals. The people they knew by name and would always come back. They were located for it. Right where the busier shopping street met housing and just a five minute walk from high school. A lot of hungry students passed by here, just like them. The little business only had six tables but it worked well enough. The back of the room was where they had the kitchen and all the goodness was made. It was nothing special, just all the necessary equipment.

Before Kibum could think about talking, Mrs Kim put down his favourite bulgogi and ham gimbap without carrot. "I made this especially for you." She smiled, there was no way that he could say no to that now. And a gimbap was not that guilt tripping. He thanked them kindly before he noticed that Jonghyun had already stolen a piece.

"Hey, that is mine!" The younger whine, not caring that he was making a scene. Jonghyun just pointed at his mother. "And that is my mother that made it. So we will have to share." That moment Mrs Lee came over with her green spicy chicken ramyun and put it down in front Jonghyun. "If you mean that then you should share this with Kibumie." She added with a devilish smile, knowing that the two always bickered and stole food from each other.

Kibum acted fast and as Jonghyun was distracted stole one of the pressures pieces of chicken from the bowl. "Hey!" But it was already too late when Key shoved it into his mouth before sticking out his tongue. “Aigoo, just like brothers.” Jonghyun’s mother teased, looking at the two in a loving gaze. “Eat up.”

 

Dinner was entertaining as always but Kibum refused Jonghyun’s offer to continue and play some video games. The younger had planned to study, even if it was a Friday night. He was the type of person that like to get things done rather than leave it hanging. Jonghyun always called him a weirdo but was now accustomed to the fact. He let him go without annoying him any longer. Waving him out the door and running up the stairs and into the lounge so that he could see Kibum walk that small distance to his front door.

 

“I’m sure he knows the way.” Jonghyun ignored his sister. It was just a habit of his. He liked to know that Kibum was safe, that no strange man offered him candy or girl asked him for his phone number. Knowing that he would sleep good at night. “I know.” He replied to his sister when he realised that he still didn’t do so.

 

The elder sibling probably rolled her eyes but Jonghyun didn’t care to look. “Watcha watching?” He slid on the couch and stole the crisps from his sister’s hands. “Hey!” once again Jonghyun ignored her until she bent over to try to steal it back. Jonghyun held it out of her reach making her just try harder bending over his lap. “That. Is . mine.” She hissed, getting really annoyed at this point. “It is not like you need it.” Jonghyun said without a care in the world.

 

That had done it. Did Jonghyun just call her fat? Instead of the bag of crisps her hands now grasped at his neck. “You dare?” she warned him, gripping just a little tighter. “Come on say that again!” Jonghyun held his breath, used already to this unjust treatment. “I’m sorry…” he whimpered when it actually became hard to breathe. Deeming it as enough Sodam got off her baby brother and grabbed the potato crisps again.

 

“Let that be a lesson to you. Girls don’t like being called fat. Maybe that is why you never had a proper girlfriend.” Jonghyun sniffed. It was so mean to play on people’s weaknesses. He was just misfortunately thick. He never realise when someone approached him with romantic interest. He needed to be told before he understood, often it lead to awkward situations.

 

“I never thought about you in that way.” Was a sentence he used already more than once and often that was a discouragement for the brave girl. And even if he got himself a date it never really worked out. He just ended up treating them as friends just to frustrate. The girl always broke it off again and Jonghyun would we standing there wondering what he did wrong.

 

One of his exs’ had even angrily asked who he liked more. Her or Kibum, that had shocked the seventeen year old. What was that even supposed to mean? Kibum was his best friend and she was just a ‘girl friend’ he didn’t understand it. Needless to say that ended quickly and Jonghyun complained to the younger friend about it.

 

Kibum seemed to understand girls better than him. The younger had just shrugged. “You do treat me special. Girls want you to treat them like you treat me.” Jonghyun had taken those words to heart and asked his next girlfriend if she wanted to come over and play some video games with him, just like he would ask Kibum. She seemed very happy with the invitation and Jonghyun thought that he had it all figured out.

 

Little did he know that the second they were in his room, she started to act strange. She even tried to sit on his lap after he set up the game console. What use would it be if she faced him and not the tv? Jonghyun had just pushed her away before he realised that made her close to crying. He didn’t know what to do then. He didn’t even know how to comfort his sister when she cried.

 

His now ex-girlfriend had stormed out his house and he was in desperate need for some counselling. All he could do was pass over the fire escape and knock on Kibum’s window. After he told his side of the story, even the younger seemed upset. He had send Jonghyun away without another word. Jonghyun was worried then. It was common to see Kibum angry or pissed yet sad, that was rare.

 

Jonghyun was rejected when he tried to hug the younger. Kibum looked at him with a hurt expression and maybe, maybe Jonghyun understood he was not wanted here. With his tail between his legs, he climbed out the window again. Only looking back when Kibum pulled his curtains close.

 

Jonghyun was scared to even ask his sister for advice. There were only two options it could go. Either, she would have the same reaction as Kibum and be disappointed in him or she will just laugh and hit him, he would never hear the end of it. The smart thing was just to forget it or at least keep it to himself. And that was what he had done up to the day.

 

Still he wondered. Was it not a little strange? Why would Kibum be so upset? He knew now that the girl wanted to do more than just video games. He was not that dense. He had figured that out one night when he was thinking over the matter again. Though it took him a month or so to get there. That didn’t explain Kibum’s part. Was he jealous that Jonghyun had the option to lose his virginity? No, that expression was not jealousy.

 

Jonghyun just wished Kibum would tell him what was on his mind. Of course he could bring the matter up again. It was already in the past, almost by seven months or so. Yet the memory of Kibum’s face was loud and clear. Jonghyun never wanted to see that again. Pure upsetting; He didn’t want that, he would never upset Kibum. Not his little Kibummie.


	3. A boy’s worst nightmare

It was Monday when Jonghyun saw Kibum again. Of course they texted each other during that time, Kibum had asked him if he wanted to go window shopping. The elder passed on the opportunity. He didn’t have money nor did he need anything but most of all he didn’t see the point walking of in and out stores just to see what they offered. No, Jonghyun enjoyed killing computer generated chickens for virtual life points better.

 

Jonghyun didn’t hear from him for a while then. Later he found out that Kibum had asked that Minho guy and they had gone together. Surely that boy didn’t know what it meant to go shopping with him. Jonghyun had smiled, what an amateur mistake. The flower boy could spend hours in one shop just looking, picking and fitting. Kibum looked at the piece like he was trying to figure out how they were made instead of looking at them thinking how they would look in his closet.

 

Maybe the reason for that was that Kibum’s closet was already ready to explode. Just a complete opposite to Jonghyun’s. The boy didn’t do well with folding and keeping his clothes in line. He had a chair for that, or bed, mostly floor. Jonghyun’s room was a mess. It was the soul reason his mother didn’t dare to come there anymore. She just left the clean clothes on the staircase, waiting to be picked up. Jonghyun should be able to clean his own room. At least she hoped. Jonghyun sometimes vacuum cleaned.

 

But that was all not important when he saw Kibum waiting for him just outside the door. “Bye mom, I’m going.” He screamed up the stairs before rushing out to meet with mister-not-such-a-good-morning person. Key had his face resting in his bitch face but still Jonghyun hoped that one day a Monday morning he would get a dimpled smile. Dreams were dreams.

 

Kibum started to walk before Jonghyun reached him and tensed his shoulders. Sure enough, Jonghyun swung his arm over them and it would hurt if Kibum had not done so. “Did you sleep well?” Jonghyun asked. His usual question, though it could come off as automatic, Jonghyun was always attentive for the answer. “It was okay. I didn’t have much to do Sunday so I watched a movie.”

 

That made Jonghyun pout. “If that is all you did, why didn’t you call? I could have come over.” The younger shrugged. “I wasn’t lonely. My mom was with me.” Jonghyun let out a hum of understanding. The flower boy’s parents were always so busy, Jonghyun understood that Kibum wished to have some alone time with them. Sometimes Jonghyun even pitied him, he himself was so close to his mother he wouldn’t know what to do if she was not there to cook him dinner.

 

“How was it?” he asked with a softer voice. Kibum shrugged his shoulders. “Okay, I guess. We were both kind of tired.” Jonghyun nodded not really knowing how to continue the conversation. He might as well let it drop, it was a Monday morning after all. There was no need for them to be talking all the time. They just walked their short walk to the school gates.

 

“Hi Minho.” Jonghyun looked up, his eyes shooting between the younger and the greeted boy. Kibum was smiling at the giant. It made him pout, why did he deserve a dimpled smile? Jonghyun got nothing but shrugs all morning. There was something so wrong here.

 

Jonghyun let it slide, at least for now. He walked alone to his locker and alone to class. “It is unusual to see you here this early in the morning and with a pout no less.” Jonghyun sighed and moved around his classmate to sit down at his desk. “I can’t always be happy, you know?” Jinki sat down too, he had the desk just in front of him since he was a way better student. 

 

“Did something happen?” His friend pressed. Jonghyun was an open book and would often cheer up faster when he got something off his chest. Jinki was a thoughtful friend, a boy that was just starting to shine. He was not too handsome, a little on the chubby side bad skin and no eyelids to speak of. But still he was gentle if not awkward, he always tried to make everyone smile.

 

“Kibum is leaving me.” Jonghyun whined completely out of context. Jinki looked surprised, totally not expecting that. Jonghyun hung over his desk completely melting in self-pity. “What makes you think like that?” If anyone knew anything about the two, you would know that one did not do anything without the other. Even though Jonghyun was always behind Kibum, when Kibum turned unsure of the situation Jonghyun was the one that pulled them through.

 

“He didn’t want to spend the weekend with me and now he doesn’t let me walk him to class.” To tell the truth, Jonghyun had never really been this early in his own classroom. He always took the detour to the other’s homeroom first. It was strange to see the desks so empty. 

 

Jinki was tapping his chin. “Maybe it is not like that. I mean maybe he feels like you are leaving him.” And how in the bloody hell did that idiot come to that idea. Jonghyun would never leave Kibum. The puppy look-alike just stared as if he insulted his ancestry. Jinki offered him an apologetic smile. “We are in the last year. Next year you are not going to be here anymore. Kibum may be upset about that fact. He is just getting used to the idea that you will not be around anymore.”

 

Though it made sense, Jonghyun was unwilling to agree to it. The best he could do was shrug his shoulders and turn away from the conversation. He didn’t want to talk about something that was just going to distress him so early in the morning. He sighed again and laid his head on top of his curled arms. He was lucky to have a seat by the window, though he never thought that was the best idea from the teachers. He was already an airhead obsessed with clouds.

 

This time, there seemed to be something going on below the trees. Jonghyun had to concentrate just to figure out what was going on. But he knew that hair style, those thin shoulders and long legs. What was Kibum doing there? It was not like he had P.E. in the morning and if he had, Jonghyun knew that he would probably avoid it. But what was really interesting was that girl standing in front of him.

 

What was going on? It was clearly a private conversation, so far away from all the hassle of getting to class. What were they talking about? Sadly Jonghyun had a hard time seeing who the girl was. Was it a girl from Kibum’s class? He didn’t know, neither could he really see. It was too far and just to make matters worse, they seemed to have ended their talk. Jonghyun looked on with interest how Kibum embraced the girl and kept his arm over her shoulder as they walked out of Jonghyun’s sight.

 

The ring of the bell made Jonghyun jump up. Jinki hissed as the force made the boy’s table hit the back of his chair. “What was that for? Did you fall asleep?” His friend asked, turning to him from his extra study book. Jonghyun shook his head. “No, I’m sorry.” He sat back down in his chair while the other students hurried to theirs. Five minutes until class started. Jonghyun would not pay it any attention.

 

~~~~

Jonghyun was set on finding Kibum and have lunch with him. So when the bell did ring and books were shut with a sigh, Jonghyun ran for it. He needed to grab his lunch and get to the younger's locker before he could even think about escaping. Sure enough, Jonghyun had to wait there for a good five minutes before the face he wanted to see showed up.

Kibum didn't even fake his surprise while Minho did his usual respectful bow. "I guess I will see you in class again." The tall frog muttered to the pretty boy while he gave his friend an almost apologetic smile. Jonghyun ignored it until they were alone before he smiled brightly. "So, lunch?" He held out his, by his mother, packed lunch box. Kibum just rolled his eyes and opened his locker. "I suppose, since you are here already."

Jonghyun's lips broke into a smile. He started to walk knowing that Kibum already knew where he was going. Sure enough, Jonghyun guided him to the table under the sun they always sat at. The sun was bright and the wind was kind, they still didn't need an extra jacket against it, their school blazer would do. Jonghyun was already unpacking his lunch, wondering what it held today. Bulgogi, rice balls and side helping of perfectly cut fresh veggie. Jonghyun smiled as he noticed the carrot was missing just as it should. "What do you have?" He asked curiously. Kibum did say that his mother was home yesterday. Maybe that would mean that he got a cooked meal. The younger smiled to him as he opened his box.

 

“Well, it is fried rice and small sausages.” He showed off his not so amazing arrangement yet Jonghyun’s eyes grew. “I will trade you some meat for a sausage.” He said excitedly. Kibum nodded, he would gladly trade meat. He held out his box and let Jonghyun do just that. They ate for a bit in silence being too hungry from classes. That ended soon enough when Jonghyun had gobbled down his second riceball.

 

“I saw you this morning.” Kibum didn’t look up from his red coloured rice. “I know, I picked you up at the front door.” Jonghyun rolled his eyes for a change. “No, I mean, that girl. Is she your girlfriend now?” Kibum’s hand stopped midway to guide food to his mouth. “You seem really friendly. It must be your girlfriend. What is her name? Is she in your class?” Oh, how he hated it when Jonghyun didn’t understand the situation. The boy had a habit to talk and talk before he realise that he had made things awkward.

It only took a look, a certain stare to shut Jonghyun up. "No, she is not." Jonghyun stopped chewing. He blinked slowly. "She, is not? Then...?" The elder didn't really know how to go around it. "But I saw you hugging her. Are you lying to me?" Maybe Kibum was just shy. Yet the younger just closed his eyes. "I was comforting her." That was just making things more confusing. "So did she confess to you?" Jonghyun asked carefully, Kibum confirmed it with a nod of the head. 

 

"She did. But I'm not interested." That was interesting in itself. "What do you mean? Don't you want a girlfriend?" This time the younger shook his head. “No I don’t think I want one.” Jonghyun widened his eyes. There was something really wrong here. Why would a healthy sixteen year old not be interested in getting it on? Hell, Jonghyun would love it if he would be more popular with them ladies.

 

Sadly, he was not. Kibum, his little Bummie was far more superior in these matters. Girls wanted him and now he says that he didn’t want them back. What was going on, there was no reason Kibum should be doing this. “I don’t understand.” Jonghyun muttered and Kibum sighed. Of course Jonghyun’s peanut of a brain didn’t understand. It was not in his nature to think about things in a quiet manner. He just needed to be vocal.

 

But for Kibum if would only be good at this point. Maybe he should come clean yet his hands were sweaty and he put down his chopsticks. That moment his shoulders slouched a little bit more and Jonghyun understood that things were wrong. “Hyung, I don’t think I want girlfriends anymore.”

 

The way Kibum had said it didn’t leave more room for questioning. Yet Jonghyun found a way, he always had. “Then… what is it you want?” He asked carefully, his chopsticks on the table and the food forgotten. Kibum was confessing something to him and Jonghyun was beyond confused.

 

The younger found the bravery to look up again. This was his best friend he was talking to, he had no need to be afraid. But just that made him so much more afraid. Still he bit his lip and took a second to prepare. “One of the boys in my year has asked me out. I’m going on a date with him this Friday.”


	4. Am I not Handsome?

It was Minho.

It had to be that stupid, tall, handsome frog.  
That boy would surely grow up to make girl’s hearts stop. And now that selfish toad dared to steal his Kibum away from him.  
Jonghyun felt smaller than ever. It was already eight and he had a lot of homework to do yet he couldn’t get his chin off the coffee table.

 

This was so unfair, this was not right, this was madness.  
Jonghyun whimpered as his brain turn everything over once more. If Kibum didn’t like girls anymore why didn’t he just say that?  
Didn’t he trust him with that little bit of information? That core detail that he found out about himself.  
It just completely surprised him, a one eighty degree. He still didn’t know how he felt about it.

 

If Kibum did fancy a man over a woman; Then why not him? What did he ever do not to deserve that affection?  
Was he not handsome enough? Sure he was not as tall, he didn’t have a high nose bridge and his lips were cracked and dry, not very appealing for kissing. He was everything Minho was not.

 

And, oh dear god did he think about kissing? Did Minho want to kiss Kibum? More importantly did Kibum want to kiss Minho?  
No, that couldn’t be. He could not imagine boys kissing. Surely gay men didn’t kiss. They loved each other, sure but kiss?  
Jonghyun had never seen that. But to tell you the truth he had never even seen gay men before.  
They were just on TV or in that story of a friend of the family that had a gay uncle.

 

Was Kibum now one of those gay uncles? No it couldn’t be.  
Kibum wouldn’t dare dress in bright shiny jackets and silver pants with a feather pink boa around the neck. That would simply be ridicules.  
He said that he was going on a date, he didn’t say that he has accepted the boy and now were lovers.

 

Lovers, Jonghyun thought he knew what that meant. Yes, he had done his research. If a boy loves a girl he should ask her out.  
They would do fun stuff like have coffee and take couple pictures.  
Then he would kiss her and ask if she wanted to come up to his room when his parents were not home. The rest would make him blush.

 

Was Minho planning to do this all with Kibum? Having coffee, Jonghyun would allow and even some couple picture.  
He lazily picked up his phone and flipped it open. The background was just that, a picture where they had to press their cheeks together just to fit in.  
That could be a couple picture, right? He had one of his eyes smiles while Kibum held out his new necklace, that he had made Jonghyun pay for.

 

Jonghyun smiled at the memory. They were in a little cafe eating a shared patbingsu. That is what people do on a date too, right?  
Would Kibum do that now with someone else? Jonghyun snapped his phone shut again. The idea was way to upsetting.  
He didn’t want Kibum to do that with other guys, even though their intentions were different.

 

“What are you sulking about?” Just what he needed. His sister opened a bag of chips and flopped down on the couch behind him.  
He didn’t answer, he just sighed. She took the time changing the channels before she got to the one she wanted,  
continuing tormenting her baby brother.  
Sodam placed one foot on his head before adding her other. Jonghyun let her, he didn’t have the energy to fight it.

 

“Hey, what’s up?” At first Jonghyun just grumbled but when she moved her feet painfully on top of his head he opened his mouth.   
"Noona, do you think I'm handsome?" He tried, rolling his eyes when his sister laughed hard. "What? Were you rejected by someone?"   
Why couldn't she just answer the question? Jonghyun didn't want to tell her about Kibum's new found attraction just yet. 

 

"No." He said like he would be believed. His sister was still chuckling. "I'm just wondering why people would like others more than me."   
The weight on top of his head disappeared and Sodam lent closer. "Is there someone you like?" Somehow she sounded serious this time.   
Jonghyun sure liked Kibum but not in that way. He just didn't want to be lonely.

 

"No." He answered again. His tone a little bit higher than before. Sodam smiled this time at him in sympathy.   
"Sometimes a person can't help who they like." She said and sat back onto the couch.   
That was a possible answer but that still didn't solve his. "Do you think someone can like me?"

 

This time there was a pause. Jonghyun turned around to look at her. She had on a little pout.   
"I think so, you are not too ugly. And you play the guitar and bass. That is a big plus with girls.   
I think you shouldn’t have such a problem if you just try a little." 

 

Try? Jonghyun had to think about that. If he tried to understand girls. Then he would be just as popular as Kibum. But that wasn't the issue here. He wanted Kibum to like him. 

 

Wait, what?

 

"Thank you." He muttered to his sister. He had started to sweat just a little. Where did his train of thought lead him too? Ridiculous. He needed to go before his sister developed the sight of reading minds. He would never live if she knew. 

 

 

~~~

 

"Still grumpy, I see." Jinki smiled to him that morning. It was Thursday by now and even though he still walked Kibum to class the second that frogged eyed monster showed his face, Jonghyun was out. Of course he made sure to glare with all his full intensity. He might be short but that best friend stealing bastard needed to know that he packed a pretty punch. 

 

Minho just blinked at him, like he thought that he was innocent. Jonghyun knew his little games, the dirty mutt. Kibum had been ignoring his puppy eyes when Jonghyun pleaded silently to stay away from the alien. It was all useless when Jonghyun realised that Friday was drawing closer. It was just making his mood even sourer. 

 

Now Jonghyun was waiting. The classroom was slowly filling up and Jinki was smiling at him. He remembered that his friend had spoken to him. “Yes very grumpy, I see.” The boy chuckled and Jonghyun sighed. He was digging his own grave this way. “Have you spoken to Kibum about it?” Jinki asked as he got his books out of his bag. “No.” Jonghyun answered simply. This was not just a thing to talk out. Jonghyun still had too many questions he had to solve on his own. He had yet to find a proper way to think about it. It was just so damn complicated. 

 

Jinki placed a book in front of him. “Well, here. I thought you might like this book. I enjoyed it and you seem like you need a distraction.” Jonghyun snapped out of his thoughts for a second and traced the cover. A book, that was perfect. A distraction might not be that bad. Jonghyun’s lips formed a smile. It was just what he needed. 

 

“Don’t think too much about it and maybe, tomorrow is Friday. You could hang out with Kibum and set things right.” That little speck of joy came crashing down. He pouted and laid his head on his desk again. “I can’t; Kibum has a date then.” he mumbled into the wood. Jinki blinked. “Oh.” Well that was awkward. “Is that why you are upset? Does he really like her?” 

 

Jonghyun shrugged his shoulders. “He hasn’t even told who it was. Though I think I know who it is…” He said carefully. He didn’t really know how much he could say. Sure, he trusted his friend but this was not his life he was talking about. Kibum would skin him alive, make him eat several of his own body parts and then slowly cook him over fire while adding salt. Kibum had trusted Jonghyun and he would rather die than betray him. Even if both would result in death.

 

Still Jonghyun smiled at Jinki. “But I will talk to him. Saturday maybe... for now, thank you for the book.” The other reflected the smile tenfold, to nearly blinding power, just as the bell rang. 

 

~~~ 

 

“Hey.” Jonghyun didn’t have to look up to know who it was. Kibum sat down in front of him, he in turn hummed at the younger. “I was wondering where you were. You didn’t pick me up for lunch.” That fact was true. “I thought you wanted to be with Minho.” Jonghyun said, hiding his lies so well even he was surprised. 

 

Kibum rose his eyebrow, and what was that about. “I see him enough in class. What are you doing?” The pretty boy was starting to get a bit annoyed, he was clearly less interesting than that book, that ticked him off. Maybe he should have taken Minho’s offer for lunch. Though, Jonghyun looked up. “Really? You don’t want to eat with him too?” 

 

This time the younger rolled his eyes. “Spit it. You have been acting weird and I don’t like it. Do I make you feel so uncomfortable?” The way Kibum’s pretty lips were pressed into a fine line let Jonghyun know that he was being serious. “I’m not uncomfortable. This is just a really good book.”

 

And that was the wrong thing to say. Kibum stood back up. “Fine, if that is so. Then I will leave you with your stupid book.” Jonghyun blinked at him, why was he being screamed at? Before even an idea came to him, Kibum had already stormed off. What was up with him? It was almost like his sister would get once a month when she didn’t care how she looked or what she ate. Jonghyun bit his lip. He was pretty sure that gay men didn’t menstruate. 

 

Still he added that question to the growing list of things that he had to look up on the computer. He had so much to learn about this whole new matter. But the thought left him when he looked at how Kibum added himself to a group of girls. 

 

Typical, when Kibum was annoyed at him, he would always go to his girl group. There, god knows what he talked about but he knew for sure he was a recurring subject. Once when he irritated Kibum enough he hid with the girls and only when Jonghyun tried to follow him, he knew how dark a girl’s soul could be. He never meant to eavesdrop but once he heard what they were planning he was frozen with fear. It was his sister times ten. 

 

After that, Jonghyun had begged Kibum never to hang out with them again. Only for Kibum to laugh into his face. “And how do you think I can get such master pieces of ideas from?” That freaked Jonghyun out more than it should and he opted to just stay away from said girls. He would never understand them. 

 

He placed his cheek against his hand and watched a little longer. Kibum was more interesting after all. Jonghyun smiled, even surrounded by attractive girls the flower boy stood out. His lips were pinker than their lipstick, his skin more even. Girls were jealous creatures, right? Though they looked at him with a kind of awe. Did they know that they were playing in the same team? Had Kibum told them yet?

 

The boy shook his head. No, nothing was set in stone. Tomorrow was just going to be a date. A friendly get together just to see how things worked. That is how Kibum had explained it and Jonghyun was curious. He bit his lip. Maybe he should just follow Kibum. You know, undercover. Jonghyun shook his head again. No, that sounded horrible. He was never the quiet guy and Kibum’s hearing was stronger than his Mom’s at night. Kibum would go on that date and then tell Jonghyun all about it. That was what best friends were for. He had to trust him.


	5. Congratulations, Hyung

He trusts him. Jonghyun trusts him, though he could not swallow his unease nor could he stop his foot from tapping. His eyes shot from the black board to the clock and back again. The bell was about to ring and that meant one thing. Weekend, a happy thought for sure but Jonghyun was more worried about the immediate result of the freedom. Kibum had a date and that was bothering him way more than it should. 

 

There it was, that annoying ring to tell them they were free to go. Jonghyun shot up dropping his book and hissing when it fell on his foot. “Just a second class, I was not done. For homework…” Jonghyun looked up as the teacher continued with a look of utter despair. She had betrayed him, he was about to lose his best friend, didn’t she understand? This was a matter of life and death!

 

Jonghyun sat down again his jaw tight in tension and his hands full with books that he would just carry instead of put in his bag. Kibum's locker was far and with the extra time it took for the teacher to say everything he didn’t have time for that.

 

"I'm sorry, excuse me! Emergency!" Sure thing he was rushing to the younger's locker. Yet it was all for not when he saw no pretty boy there. Maybe Kibum was held back too. Jonghyun looked around himself just to make sure the one he was looking for was not just chatting up some friends. "He isn't here." The upper class man muttered to himself after a while. 

 

"Kibum?" Jonghyun turned and saw the last face he wanted to see. Minho had the guts to smile at him. "He told me that he was meeting someone. You must have missed him." Wait, what? Jonghyun blinked. Was he pulling his leg? "And you?" He asked carefully. Minho opened his locker just a couple away from Kibum's. "Eh? No, I have athletics after 5." Jonghyun snapped his fingers. That was right, the giant thought that Olympic gold was an realistic dream. 

 

But that would mean Kibum had another suitor. Horror settle in his gut, it was one thing to go on a date with a person he knew it was completely another story of Jonghyun didn't. What if it was an old pervert? Someone that would kidnap his little Kibummie and he would never see his best friend again? "Do you know where he maybe is?" Jonghyun asked Minho out of pure desperation. What a terrible best friend he was, not even knowing where Kibum was. 

 

Minho shrugged. "He didn't tell me. You should just text him. What is going on? You look worried." Of course he was worried. Didn't that frog realise the situation they were in? Kibum was in danger to be stolen away and that would only happen over Jonghyun's dead rotting body. "No, it's fine." The elder lied through his teeth, his face drained of colour. The idiot was right, he should just text Kibum, maybe he was still on the way to his date. Surely he would reply to a worried text. It was all in his safety.

 

“I need to go.” Jonghyun said, hurriedly adjusting the straps on his backpack so that he look more professional running. Minho did his usual polite bow and bit his lip as Jonghyun stood on his toes just to go by. “Wait,” Jonghyun skidded to a hold. “Do you really not know where Kibum went?” The frog eyed boy thought for a bit. “I think he said something about getting coffee so I think he went downtown.” That was all that Jonghyun needed to know. 

 

“Thanks, Minho.” The younger blinked. Jonghyun was already gone. Did the other really say that? Did Jonghyun really know his name? Minho lifted his hand and pinched his other arm. That kind of hurt. Oh, shit. It was real. “Hyung has noticed me.” He whispered in disbelieve. Today was a beautiful day.

 

Minho rushed out himself noticing a figure at the gate he knew would be there. “Taeminie-ah!” His smile triple folded. “Oh Taeminie-ah!” The boy with too long black hair and a middle school uniform turned to him waiting for him to get there. “Taeminie! Jonghyun said my name today! And he thanked me!” The smile was killing Minho’s face at this point and Taemin’s face was blank. 

 

Just a second later, the middle year’s student reached into his bag and pulled out a little firework. He pulled the trigger just when Minho reached him and with a pathetic bang Minho was showered in small but colourful paper snipping’s. “Congratulations.” Taemin said with no emotion in his face. 

 

He let the firework go, not caring that he was littering the grounds of his future highschool. He just turned and started to walk. Minho pouted but followed. “Come on. Today is a happy day.” There was no answer. Minho pouted cuter, two steps with his long legs Minho was in front of Taemin. “Does Taeminie want to eat ice cream with hyung?” 

 

Taemin stopped walking when his face was millimetres off Minho’s chest. The elder was waiting, looking down at a mob of black hair. Slowly, Taemin lifted his head, his eyes sparkling and his nose almost touching Minho’s lips. “Ice cream?”

 

~~~

Jonghyun found the time to text Kibum when he was waiting for a green light at a crossing. “Bummie, where are you? Be safe please…” He muttered as it send, he had thought about a whole paragraph to type but time was precious and Kibum was not someone that would read that. 

 

He would be the type of person that would just scan through it and never reply. But this was important! He had to reply to his worried text, right? Jonghyun sprinted over the crossroad. It might be that Kibum was going to go to one of his favourite cafes. Surely they would, Kibum always dragged him there, so why not him? He was not that different from a date.

 

Jonghyun sighed when he pressed his nose against the glass of Kibum’s favourite French bakery, when the café proved useless. Surely, Kibum would have wanted to be treated to a sweet. Clearly, Jonghyun must have missed them again. Kibum never even reply to his text. He detached his face from the window leaving a very impressive grease mark to the horrors of the employees. 

 

Where was Kibum? With who was he out? Jonghyun didn’t remember how many rounds he did in their little downtown. Did they go to the record store? Of even the Kyobo bookstore to pick up another study book? Jonghyun’s phone remained silent and his nerves on edge. It was already getting dark and he was getting tired, his feet were aching and there was no seat on the busy bus to go back home.

 

“Where have you been?” His mother asked when he finally walked through the door of the little eatery. “Out with some friends.” Jonghyun lied, the smell from the food cooking didn’t appeal to him like it should. “Well, have you eaten?” She asked as he passed her. Jonghyun nodded, lying again. He really couldn’t get anything through his tight throat at this point. He was worried sick. The lady jutted out a hip. “Well, go on. Hurry up upstairs. You are upsetting the whole place. Be a grumpy teenager somewhere else.” What Jonghyun sometime believe to be his second mother told him. 

 

He did what he was told, ignoring his sister as she tried to hit him with a pillow while he took the potato chips off the second, smaller kitchen they had. “Yah, I bought those myself! Get your own.” She shrieked at him. He needed something to eat while he waited for Kibum up in his room. Though hope was there. 

 

There was a light. Not the one in his room but one that came from a source outside. That could only mean one thing. Jonghyun opened his window and surely he saw. Kibum’s bedroom’s light was on. A smile broke on Jonghyun’s lips and the vacuum on his heart was lifted. 

 

“Bum!” Jonghyun had already crossed the little fire exit to press his greasy face against the glass of his best friend’s window. The small thud was enough to get Kibum’s attention. The pretty boy looked up from his book just to see and roll his eyes. Of course it was Jonghyun making funny faces to be let into his clean room. He had half the mind not to do so but then again it was animal cruelty if you kept a dog outside for too long. 

 

So with a sigh, Kibum got up sliding his window open and reminded Jonghyun to leave his extra slippers outside. The elder always had the dirty things on the roof even if it was raining. Kibum could swear there were things growing on the footwear and he wondered how long it took for Jonghyun to get some sort of infection. 

 

Still Jonghyun didn’t seem fazed and kicked off the flipflops and climbed inside. “Dry your feet.” Kibum ordered as he got back to his seat at his desk. Jonghyun did so on the old small towel Kibum always prepared on his floor for him, even if he didn’t really understand why. He was not that dirty. 

 

But these were minor details and he would not get into a discussion over something so stupid. Jonghyun was here just for one thing. He sat down on the floor, leaning his back against the younger’s bed. Kibum really hated it if he laid down or even sat on his perfectly made up linen. Jonghyun was just comfortable on the floor, if it was up to Kibum.

 

"How was it?" Jonghyun didn't beat around the bush, Kibum was expecting as much. Jonghyun had always been the curious kind. "Why didn't you answer my text?” Kibum returned to his books. “I didn’t have enough credit on my phone.” He was waiting for Jonghyun to continue and aske the real question he knew he came to get answered.

 

“Are you... You know." No, Kibum didn't give Jonghyun that pleasure. If he was really stupid enough to ask then he should at least be a man about it. "Know what?" Oh, Kibum enjoyed watching the elder struggle with what to say. "You know..." He tried again and all Kibum did was raise an eyebrow daring Jonghyun to try that trick again. "Have you... Accepted him... As your… hmm, boyfr-friend?" See that wasn't that bad?

 

Kibum smiled but shook his head. "No, I let him down lightly. I don't think we would have been well fitted." There was a load that left Jonghyun's chest and he was free to breathe for what felt the first time that week. Still he was careful. "Does that mean... You know... You are dating girls again?" He asked in a small voice. He didn't really know what he hoped the answer here was. 

 

Kibum sat back this time, it was quite enjoyable to watch Jonghyun being so uncomfortable on his floor, like a worm in sunlight or a squid in soja sauce. A sight he enjoyed a little too much. But on this matter he wouldn't lie. Jonghyun didn't deserve that. "No, I think I am stuck liking boys."

 

Kibum studied his friend's face intensely. Was he disgusted? Afraid, maybe angry. But Jonghyun was frowning at the floor as if there was a difficult maths problem engraved in it. Why was he not saying anything? It was making the younger nervous. "Are you going to date Minho next?" 

 

That sentence left Jonghyun without much thinking nor with any stutter. Still he started to wonder if he even said it out-loud when Kibum didn't say anything to answer it. They met eyes and Jonghyun knew that Kibum had heard him alright. "No. And you are an idiot. He is just a friend." Just a friend then. Was he just a friend? It bothered him without good reason. Did Kibum think about him as just a friend? 

 

No, Jonghyun was not just a friend. He was his best friend. He was on a whole other level. He was special. "Then date me." 

 

There was no answer again and rightfully so. What did his brain order his mouth to say? Jonghyun didn't even dare to look up this time. 

 

There were only two options now. Kibum could laugh it off, but more realistically he would explode. Any time now. Jonghyun bit his lip. three, two, one.

 

"Get out." That was the best thing that could happen. Jonghyun looked up. The younger didn't look at him but his clenched fist said enough. The knuckles were white with tension, yet it was nothing compared to the air around them. Jonghyun swallowed audibly, he didn't move. "Didn't you hear me?"

 

Kibum was heard but Jonghyun didn’t want to follow his order. “No, I mean it.” He said, standing up just to come over more determent. Kibum followed him, getting up himself and meeting Jonghyun eye to eye. “You don’t know what you are saying!” The younger had raised his voice. But Jonghyun didn’t budge. He knew that he didn’t really know what it meant but that didn’t make him regret the decision. 

 

“Do you?” Kibum dared to step closer. The younger towered over him, a fact that Jonghyun hated. He knew that Kibum would overtake him with height one day, yet he had hoped it would have been later. But still he didn’t want to be belittled because of it. “I think I do.” Jonghyun knew he was playing with fire, he knew what was at stake. Kibum rolled his eyes. 

 

“Liar.” The younger muttered and he turned to have a moment for himself. Yet Jonghyun didn’t let him. This was the critical point, his chance and he wasn’t thinking. His hand had found Kibum’s and he pulled him back. Out of reflex the younger spun in shock and Jonghyun didn’t know how it happened. 

 

But he pressed his lips against Kibum’s.


	6. You tried.

Did he really just do that? Did he really give his first kiss to Kibum? Well, not counting on the cheeks or something like that. But now, thinking about it did he miss him on the lips? Jonghyun didn't really know now. It all happened so fast. He had closed his eyes and felt something soft under them but was it really the younger's lips? The cheeks also looked terribly soft. Kibum had pushed him away so fast and was now looking at him hurt. Disappointed, betrayed. All types of horrible. 

 

Then he moved his fingers to his lips, Kibum touch those silk pink pillows and Jonghyun knew that he had hit bull's eye. He had really done it; and he was done for now. Dead. 

 

"I-I'm sorry..." Jonghyun stuttered. What did he expect to happen? God only knew and god be good, Jonghyun was scared. He could have just blown up more than ten beautiful years of friendship. He was trembling. When would Kibum react? 

 

The younger seemed to be lost, unable to speak but he lifted his arm. He was pointing to the window and Jonghyun understood loud and clear. He was not wanted here. His shoulders slumped and he put on his slippers and climbed out of the window. With his tail between his legs Jonghyun never felt smaller. There was a loud thump and he knew that Kibum had slammed the window shut. The light that guided him to his own room darken as the younger pulled his curtains close and Jonghyun knew it was all over. 

 

And now what? Jonghyun climbed into his own bedroom and didn't bother turning on the lights. He didn't need it to find his way to his bed. Plus once he reached it he flopped down and never wanted to get out of it. 

 

What had he done? What was going to happen now? He blew it big time. Kibum would never want to talk to him again, let alone be his friend. Why did he go on and kiss Kibum? He didn't think and that was the worst. His hands moved and touched his lips. He had kissed him, Kibum. His first kiss. Well that of a boy anyway. It was nothing special, no sparkles, no butterflies. But what did Jonghyun think it would be? Surely a kiss between two men wouldn't be girly. Yeah, a kiss between two men was manly. It would be rough and aggressive like a surprise attack. Just like Jonghyun kissed Kibum. It was the perfect kiss. 

 

Jonghyun lifted his head just so that he could slam it face down into his pillows. It muffled his scream effortlessly. He didn’t know what he felt but it wasn’t good. One thing was for sure, he wasn’t done with Kibum. He needed to talk to him. Their friendship depended on it. But when? When would it be a good time to ruin things all over again? He was bound to say something stupid. Jonghyun sat up, he needed to be clever about it. What will he say? He reached for the little reading light and then note pad not far away from him. He might just plan this time properly. 

 

~~~ 

 

 

“Aigoo, Kibum-ah, always so early in the morning.” The teenager smiled at his second mother as she opened the door for him. Of course it was not that early. It was half passed ten on Saturday. But still he could be watching morning cartoons instead of making a visit to next door. “Jonghyun-ah is still sleeping I think. But you know the way.” Kibum nodded and bowed at the second cook that was already preparing a broth. “I won’t disturb you any longer.” He said as Jonghyun’s mother guided him to the back door that would lead to the upstairs house. It was quiet there, the two other residents seemed still to snooze. Kibum made is way up two flights of stairs. Jonghyun’s room was still dark but from the lights that all Jonghyun’s electronics showed. He never bothered turning anything off. The tv on stand by and the stereo complaining that there was no CD for it to play. 

 

Kibum carefully shuffled to Jonghyun’s bed, god knows what he found on the floor. Cloth touched his feet and he just hoped that it was not dirty underwear. The thought made him shiver in disgust, but what could he do? Just before Jonghyun’s bed he took a deep breath. “Hey. Wake up.” He said, not to loud. There was no reaction, nothing at all. Jonghyun was happily in dreamland. Kibum rolled his eyes. The little light in the room showed that Jonghyun’s eyes were not fully closed but that only meant that Jonghyun was really out of it. Kibum had to try harder. 

 

He might just enjoy it. Calculating and doing so perfectly, the cat like boy pounced with a yell. “Yah!” The impact was great enough, the shout loud. Jonghyun screamed, his body unable to move with the weight on it. Kibum was sitting on his chest, his knees curled over Jonghyun’s shoulders making him completely useless. “Ki-ki-kibum?” Jonghyun whimpered. The rude wake up call not one of the first. He might as well be used to it by now. But there was nothing that could make you used to Kibum’s ‘rise and shine’ routines.

 

Jonghyun had to have a moment. But it came all crashing down when he woke up just that little bit more. Why was Kibum here again? Did Jonghyun dream about last night? No, Kibum had his arms folded and was pouting at him. There was no way Kibum was ignoring what happened and that made Jonghyun a ted bit scared. 

 

"Take responsibility!" Kibum said. Jonghyun blinked, at this point his arms lost all feeling. Did the younger really have to keep sitting on his chest while talking? Jonghyun struggled just a bit and Kibum got the hint. He sat back, comfortable sitting on Jonghyun's hips. "What do you mean?" He asked just to make Kibum pout more. "You stole my first boy kiss and you said that you wanted me to date you. Well then, prove it. Take me on a date."

 

Jonghyun couldn't believe his ears. Did Kibum really take the first step? Didn't he have to come begging to him? This is great. Jonghyun smile grew from ear to ear and he tackled Kibum against his bed. Oh, he felt so happy. Kibum wasn't angry with him anymore. He snuggled closer to the younger's chest not caring about the fists hitting his back. He didn't care that he may be crushing Kibum under him, or that his breath stank. He was in the clouds with that warm body pressed against his.

 

"No, wait. Get off!" Kibum was struggling way too much. Jonghyun pouted and let go, sitting up. What was his problem? Skinship was one of their things; Kibum had to be used to it by now. "Hyung, you can't do that anymore. We are dating." What did that have to do with anything? "Doesn't that just mean that I get to hug you more?"

 

Kibum looked at the idiot with disbelieve. All he wanted to do was slap that smile off his hyung's face. He did so with only half the force. "No, it means you have different motives and that is something we will work on." Kibum said his cheeks already heating up at the idea. What luck that the curtains were drawn shut and there was no way Jonghyun could see his blush.

 

Yet Jonghyun didn't think that was right. No, now they were going on a date, Jonghyun had all the right to touch Kibum. But that was something he was going to test out in theory while they were on that said date. There was no time to be lost. He needed to get ready. With a new found excitement he got out of bed.

 

Kibum groaned when Jonghyun's movement through him off even more. But it was all forgiven when he could nestle inside the still warm bed instead. It was some peace and quiet while Jonghyun was looking at the floor for a shirt to wear. Kibum closed his eyes when Jonghyun pulled open the curtains for what he thought was just a second. "Okay, let's go!" The pup smiled goofily at him as Kibum stared. Oh no, he was not going out like that. What was Jonghyun thinking? "No. Change." The younger ordered, rolling back into Jonghyun's warm sheets.

 

The elder pouted. He looked down and checked if there were any stains on his light blue shirt with cool graffiti letters saying something he didn’t understand in English. There was nothing and less so with his clean mustard yellow khakis. Still with a sigh, Jonghyun changed. Maybe Kibum wanted a more grown up version of him, maybe that was more boyfriend material. Jonghyun nodded to himself and threw all the clothes off the backrest of his chair. Somewhere here, ah, yes there it was. Jonghyun stripped his tshirt and got into a nice dress shirt that he would usually only wear at Christmas or thanksgiving. He guessed this was important enough for a shirt.

 

And maybe jeans? That would be fine. The jeans Kibum once had complimented him on. Yes, this way there was no way that the younger would be disappointed.

 

"I'm ready." Jonghyun said again, this time being more than ready. There was a groan from Kibum and he turned in Jonghyun's bed to look again. The younger blinked and Jonghyun smiled, it was a good sign. "Fine, lets go." The other seemed to be shy again; maybe Jonghyun looked too good? The boy snickered to himself.

 

Once putting on their jackets and saying their goodbyes to their mothers’ they stud outside clueless. "So what did you have planned?" Jonghyun asked Kibum that not surprisingly rolled his eyes. "Hello? You were the one that asked me out. You really didn't think about it, did you?" Jonghyun shrugged, "You rejected me, so I thought I didn't have to."

 

Though there was truth in the statement, Kibum didn't let Jonghyun down easy. Instead, he hit this head and started to walk. Jonghyun rubbed the sore spot and followed like usual. "So where are we going?" He asked again when he finally dared to walk next to the younger. "I figured you would be hungry." Oh and how Kibum was right. Breakfast after all was the most important meal of the day and Jonghyun needed it to grow.

 

And now the French cafe in town was offering toast. Jonghyun could have known that they would go to such an exotic place. Kibum desperately wanted to see the world and Europe was top of the list. Jonghyun was hoping that he could go to jeju one day, maybe Japan as far. He didn't understand those people and if he would go there, there would be a big chance he would get terribly lost. It was a big world after all. 

 

Jonghyun figured that since he was the one that asked Kibum out he should be the one that paid for everything. Which was fine though he did wished that Kibum wouldn’t take the most expensive coffee. Sure enough, Kibum was sipping a grande white mocha latte while Jonghyun stayed with the cheap Americano. As for pay back, Jonghyun ate most of the toast just in Kibum’s dismay. 

 

After that, they did a bit of the younger’s favourite window shopping and had a small snack for lunch. It was an easy day. Jonghyun used his small coins to try to win Kibum a plushy dinosaur from an arcade machine but ended up asking his date for a coin or two to finally win it, before heading home again. The day was good and they had there fun but Kibum sighed. 

 

“This doesn’t feel any different than our normal habits.”

 

There was a sinking feeling in Jonghyun’s chest. There was no arguing with that. Jonghyun was just a friend and this didn’t change that. He wasn’t thinking about seducing, or flirting. He had even forgotten about the hugging. He just saw Kibum as his best friend. The younger wasn’t looking for that. “Maybe we should just, you know, stay best friends.” There was no way that could ever happen. Jonghyun bit his lip, Kibum was already past him. No, wait. It was all because he wasn’t prepared. 

 

“I will pick you up tomorrow then.” Jonghyun shouted without thinking. Kibum turned to him looking genially surprised. “For what?” He Looked cute like that, like a little kitten. “Today, you surprised me. Tomorrow I will surprise you!” and that was all Jonghyun said before rushing into his house. 

 

God, he had done it again. His hands were trembling and he was sweating. Tomorrow, Tomorrow was the real deal. He better start preparing now. What should he do?


	7. Homework

This was it. No more surprises; Jonghyun couldn’t afford any mistakes now. Kibum was counting on him and he would have to have the perfect plan. He owed the younger as much. Jonghyun’s step was light when he run upstairs. Maybe a light snack before he would look up the best ideas for a date. His sister was in the living room of course snacking on what were the only potato chips in the house. 

 

Well, Jonghyun could take a break for a bit. He sat down beside her, begging with his eyes for a crisp. Sodam rolled her eyes but offered none the less. “What are we watching?” The young sibling asked. 

 

“Pasta.” Wait! That was it! It was the perfect inspiration. Who didn’t want a drama worthy date? Maybe he should start making those notes now. The actors on the screen did look cosy. "So what is the story about?" Jonghyun asked innocently. He never really paid attention to the dramas his sister watched. But now it was for the at most importance. 

"Romance comedy. The girl there wants to be a cook in a Italian restaurant but her boss doesn’t want women in the kitchen. It’s too distracting. But really he has been betrayed by his ex-girlfriend in the past so he is just an asshole now." Jonghyun's ears had pricked up and the word romance but now that plot sounded too complicated to be useful. "So it's sad?" The boy couldn't imagine the pain of a broken heart. But his sister shook her head. "No, it's funny because the two main characters are so into each other, but they are totally avoiding it."

Well that was interesting. "So do they go on dates?" He asked, he might as well just ask to speed things up. But to his despair his sister shook her head. "No, they are still in denial.” Jonghyun couldn’t wait until the guy would grow a pair and asked the girl. He pouted and looked at his sister. Maybe, just maybe, Jonghyun was desperate.

“What would your ideal date be like?” Jonghyun blurred out. His sister didn’t have a boyfriend from what he knew but she did watch a lot of drama. She might have a good overall view on things like this. Yet she looked away from the screen and to him like he had grown an extra head. 

“What has gotten into you lately?” She asked just to make Jonghyun’s life hard. But he had to play dumb and shrugged. “You said that I should try. So I’m trying.” Well there was no arguing with that. “Are you dating someone?” Jonghyun shook his head so fast you could hear is brain rattle. She still gave him a funny look but Jonghyun knew that she was thinking about it. “Well, I want to be picked up and have a couple outfit. Then just go to the movies. I don’t want something too much. Of course he would have to buy popcorn. Then when it is dark, we can go for a walk, like a park or shops, just like window-shopping. And if we get tired then we would get coffee. That would be perfect.”

Well, yes it would. Jonghyun wondered what movies were playing now. He smiled. “Thanks.” He said a little too fast. He needed to text Kibum. He had just the plan, and he needed to check on the computer what they could watch and then text Kibum again, that tomorrow he needed to wear that white polo with a stitched teddy bear on the chest. Jonghyun smiled, though his version was red, it was a couple outfit if you thought about it. 

 

 

Choosing a movie was a little bit trickier. There was a chickflick playing that looked funny but Kibum would kill him if he brought him there. The romance movie playing was too cheesy and sounded horrible. Jonghyun Knew that Kibum wouldn’t dare get in to a horror movie so that was out too. He decided on an American action movie. It was the most popular one and no one would question two boys going to a movie like that. Plus Johnny Depp is a good actor. 

 

Jonghyun smiled to himself. He had it all figured out. They would go for a movie in a other district and then a walk, grapping coffee and Jonghyun would bring him home before their curfew. The day after would be Monday so they could not stay out too late. 

 

But his smile fell as something caught his eyes. It was an advisement. Flashy and pink it had an outline of a pretty lady. But what it said, was that attracted him. With bold letters it read “The best lover” Without noticing his eyebrow raised. Will it just give him a virus if he clicked on it? He clicked without much thinking. It brought him to an article. “The perfect boyfriend would…” Jonghyun couldn’t stop there. This was great; he could use this type of information. 

 

And he studied. He needed to hold her hand, He had to stroke her cheek, pet her on the head and hold her neck when they kissed. But it annoyed him, he was dating a cocky boy. Not a romantically desperate girl. He didn’t know how much of this page was going to help him. Maybe he should just search it up. 

 

He looked behind himself. His mother was working and his sister was engrossed in her drama, was it save? Jonghyun bit his lip, should he just naver it? He sighed and got his finger’s ready. “How to date when you are homo” That should do. He pressed enter with his eyes closed. What is he getting himself into? Still when he opened his eyes the results were not so bad, not bad at all. 

 

He hovered over the first link and red the heading but ended clicking on the second. It looked more promising. It described steps and it was even drawn it a comic version, that was all Jonghyun needed right now. Even though he knew everything about Kibum already, the tips about direct eye contact was always helpful. ‘Make him laugh’, well that was just what Jonghyun did best. But flirt? Jonghyun red that paragraph intently. ‘Open body language’, ‘leave him wanting more’. Jonghyun wondered what that would mean. But most of all they pressed about being comfortable. 

 

Jonghyun needed to do what he wanted to do. And if that meant kissing Kibum he should communicate it with the other. That was one point, the more pressing one was the last paragraph. “If the dates were successful, then you can start a relationship.” It was right, You dated to get into one of those. Jonghyun was nervous. Was he ready? It was his final year in highschool, on top of that Kibum wanted to go to university in Seoul. Jonghyun shook his head; Nothing would change. He said that he would follow Kibum anyway. Didn’t matter if it was as best friend or lover. 

Lover, the word hung in his head. He shut off the computer and made his way upstairs to do his homework. It still bothered him when he was at his desk all the way to bed. Lovers, kissing, holding hands, hugging, having… Jonghyun bit his lip. Was he ready? Was Kibum ready?

 

He would never force Kibum to do anything he didn’t want to but if he wanted it. What would Jonghyun do? Would Kibum take it badly if the other rejected him for sex? Did that mean that Jonghyun didn’t like him in that way, but he had never thought that far. The elder did say that he liked Kibum like that. Jonghyun turned in his sheets. It was all so confusing. It didn’t let him sleep. 

 

~~~

He woke up late on Sunday, all by himself. No Kibum jumping on his bed. He like that though. It was a pretty picture to wake up to. But still he had to catch up on his homework so that he could be completely concentrated on Kibum when their second date arrived. 

 

This time Jonghyun picked the younger up. He even went so far to walk to the front door instead of going to the widow upstairs. It was not something Kibum was expecting, since it took a while until Kibum opened the door with a cute blink of his slanted eyes. Jonghyun smile brightened when he saw that Kibum indeed was wearing the requested polo under an open jean shirt. 

 

“You ready?” Jonghyun asked and Kibum nodded. Why did Jonghyun have the feeling that today was going to be completely different? He looked over Kibum’s body his shoulder’s a little bit slouched making him seem smaller. Was he scared? Nervous, just like Jonghyun was. But the elder knew what to do. He smiled and hooked his arm around his, pulling him close. It was the best he could to, intimate yet no strange looks where following them. 

 

Kibum was shy, but got more comfortable the closer they got to the cinema. After all, Jonghyun was nothing to be scared about. Well, he did bite Kibum occasionally but never too hard and it won’t happen on their walk to the movies. 

 

Jonghyun had taken care of everything. The tickets and the popcorn, Kibum could only smile. “Come on, I think the hall is already ready.” Jonghyun guided him to one of the bigger rooms and they made small talk until the lights dimmed. 

 

Kibum had time to calm his heart and nerves through the movie. Yet Jonghyun destroyed his effort when his hand touched his. Was he trying to hold his hand? Kibum didn’t move, it might have been a mistake when he reached for the popcorn. But all other reasons left Kibum when Jonghyun’s hand covered his. There was no excuse as his hand was squeezed. Jonghyun started to massage it ever so slightly. 

 

Kibum breath hitched and he didn’t know what to do. He felt hot. This was totally a different scenario than yesterday. He turned to watch Jonghyun. Though, the elder was just acting like this was normal, like they always did this. He was watching the actors on screen. It calmed Kibum to and extend. If Jonghyun could act like that so could he. 

 

For the rest Jonghyun was very tame. He didn’t surprise him with any kissing attacks and the holding started to feel comfortable instead of nerve racking. And when the movie ended the hand holding changed back into linked arms. Jonghyun was guiding him wherever he wanted. A Sunday afternoon was calm but all the shops were still open. They were strolling Kibum was free to point out cute accessories and clothes while Jonghyun just smiled at him. 

 

A smile that made the younger shy all of a sudden. He had seen it a million times but this was different, so different. Jonghyun was endearing him and Kibum started to wonder why he had ever doubted Jonghyun. Lost in his own thought he let the elder guide him to a night café. “Is there anything you want?” Kibum could smile. “You know what I want.” They were friend since forever, Jonghyun must know that by now. But the way he blinked at him let the younger know that he trusted Jonghyun too much. “And… what is that?” Jonghyun asked carefully. Kibum gave him a ‘are you serious’ look. 

 

And their date was going so well. Why did Jonghyun fuck this up now? The elder was giving him a sheepish grin. In his defence, Kibum changed favourite drink with the season and or fashion. He should have paid more attention but this was nothing to get angry about. Kibum rolled his eyes and Jonghyun smile brightened. Even through his screw up, nothing had changed. 

 

Kibum went to the bar and ordered his drink but Jonghyun cut him off with his order of Americano and a note of ten thousand won. At least he made his mistake up now. After all, Jonghyun was not perfect, but he got close.


	8. Asking the real Questions

Kibum smiled as he was guided to the front door, though the last part of it all was done in silence. Jonghyun was looking like he had an inner battle in his head and Kibum could guess what it was about. Of course at the end of a date came a kiss, everyone knew that. but Jonghyun was unsure about it. Kibum couldn’t blame him, last time Jonghyun tried to kiss him Kibum had harshly kicked him out the window. 

 

Now to think of it, it might have been a little too harsh, Jonghyun was not thtat covident in his love life and now it was clear that Jonghyun was not just playing with him. He wouldn’t go through all that effort, right? He wouldn’t try so hard. And then there were in front of Kibum’s house. There was a light on in the living room, meaning that at least one of his parents was home. Jonghyun smiled, well he would leave it here then. 

 

“I hoped you enjoyed this more. I’m still learning about this. So don’t be too mean.” Jonghyun said sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. Kibum chuckled with him. “Yeah, we should do this again.” There fell an awkward silence and he hated to see how uncomfortable Jonghyun looked. Well if he really didn’t want to kiss him why not just go inside. The younger bit his lip. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jonghyun just nodded, still a little lost on what to do. 

 

Kibum saved him from the awkwardness leaning closer and kissing his cheek before turning quickly and getting into his house. Jonghyun was blinking, that really happened. He looked at the door already falling close. Kibum had given him a kiss. A smile formed on his lips. He did something very right. There was just a one more thing he needed to do today! 

 

He ran to his own house. “Hey mom~ I’ll be in my room.” Was all Jonghyun said loudly as he passed in a rush. “Wait mister!” His mother followed and stopped him while he was already on the stairs. “Have you finished all your homework? You have been out all weekend. You are not skipping on studying?” Jonghyun pouted. So much mistrust! he never missed so much homework to deserve that.

 

The teenager gave his mother a pitiful look. “I swear I finished.” The lady waved him off though still supporting that doubting look. Jonghyun couldn’t act on it though. He needed to get upstairs and finish unfinished business. 

 

Maybe it was luck that his mother kept him for a minute. Jonghyun arrived in his room the second the lights switched on in Kibum’s room. Perfect. Jonghyun climbed out of his window and got into his dirty slippers. The smile on his face was unmeasurable and he felt light hopping to the other side. He wasn’t really thinking when he knocked on Kibum’s window. 

 

It didn’t even take a second before the cute confused face appeared in front of him. His smile only grew painful as he waited for the younger to slide open his window. “Did you for-” But Jonghyun cut him off by kissing him. And this time Kibum let him press his lips to his. A simple touch, nothing more than mouth to mouth but the younger’s cheeks exploded in heat and Jonghyun was completely happy. 

 

“Yeah, I forgot something.” Jonghyun whispered before pulling back outside. It was late and tomorrow was a new day. So Jonghyun waved and turned back to his room. “Asshole.” Key called after him but joined his giggle. ‘Leave them wanting more.’ That was one of the advice points he red on the internet. Jonghyun felt proud of himself; he really did well today. 

 

~~

 

When it was time for bed, Jonghyun was staring at the ceiling. He had check all the boxes today and he was ready to move to the next level. It made Jonghyun giddy but on the other hand it was nerve-racking. He was a teenager after all and he had certain problems. 

 

It was not uncommon to wake up with a little monster begging for attention. Jonghyun always took care of it without much thought but now he was thinking. Sexual desires; Jonghyun knew a thing or two but no were near everything. 

 

Now, last time he was on this topic, he looked up some pornographic content yet it ended up with him whimpering for his own release. He knew how it looked with a girl but with another man, Jonghyun had no idea and he was not about to look that up on the family computer. He needed to see if he found that information in another place. For now he could just he could just imagine.

 

Would it really be that different? To think about it Kibum was prettier than a girl so it wouldn’t be so hard to imagine. But that second something sparked. His brain could totally see it. Kibum, hot and blushing, mouth open and eyes teary. His body naked, wet and heaving with every breath. Jonghyun heated up that second. Fuck, what was that? He sat back up. No, the image was too vivid, too real. Too perfect.

 

It couldn’t be like that. Kibum would never look so, so… Jonghyun didn’t know how to describe it. Desirable? Lusty? Sexy? The teen was breathing way to fast to be just sitting in bed. His little friend had woken up a long time ago. He was hard, and just with that little image.

 

Was it alright? He looked over to the window. Kibum was sleeping just meters away, Jonghyun couldn’t act on such dirty thought so near to the boy, right. But just the idea that the boy was so near made Jonghyun think about how easy it was just to pass through to the window and attack!

 

No, no. This was his problem, he needed to figure it out. And there was only one way to go around it. and it wasn’t hard to bring back that image he had from Kibum. With his hair tussled and his hands reaching for him. Jonghyun’s hand went into his boxers.

 

He gasped when he got a hold on himself. He could stop thinking now, usually he didn’t need anything at this point, he only needed quick head moments. But it was not like that image he had was easy to forget. Jonghyun knew how Kibum looked as he panted. He had seen it a million times while the younger was dancing. Now it was just feeling his fantasy of a bedridden Kibum. Thrashing as Jonghyun looked over him.

 

It could be him; it could be him that was making Kibum weak. To make him moan, to touch him. Jonghyun didn’t know how but he didn’t think about it now. He would just touch the younger, cover his pink cheeks, down his long neck over his flawless white chest. If Jonghyun remembered correctly, Kibum had the softest pink nipples, cute and innocent. Breast were now the last thing on his mind, a thing completely forgotten.

 

His hand moving fast now, it was like he had to do everything in a given time. His imagination might take the better of him and he would lose the image. He needed to see how Kibum closed his eyes and moaned. Jonghyun had never heard the younger moan but now he didn’t question the sound in his head.

 

It triggered his own moan. His thumb crossed over his tip, taking a pearl with him. He hissed before biting his lip. Not a sound, he shouldn’t. Nobody should know that he wanted his best friend. He wanted him in the most sinful way, and he still didn’t know how that worked. But it had to, he moved faster. It was possible, easy.

 

“Ah.” He was milking himself. White drops vanishing into the dark and Jonghyun panted. Before it all started to make sense again. Right, his hand was dirty, his forehead was sweating and he needed to destroy all evidence. A dirty sock was perfect, just the right amount of cotton to soak all his beautiful children.

 

His mother would never know, neither would Kibum. It all started to sink in and Jonghyun started to feel embarrassment. He had done it, befouled his best friend’s image and in a way his innocence. Could he ever look Kibum in the eye again? Jonghyun smiled to himself. Yes, yes he could. It would be embarrassing yet life could be worse. He could have had a wet dream during class and moan his little Kibummie’s name for the whole classroom to hear. But he didn’t need to worry about that now.

 

He was refreshed and after all they were dating now, so he didn’t need to feel ashamed. Maybe, just maybe Kibum was thinking about him. Wouldn’t that be perfect. His smile turned into a smirk. Of course Kibum was thinking about him, in spite of everything soon he would be his boyfriend.

 

~~~

Jonghyun slept well with that thought in mind. He was happy when he woke, well rested and carefree. He was all smiles when he got down stairs to the shop hoping for a meal. His mothers were always up and already cooking when he got ready. He sat down in front of his sister and smiled. “Good morning Noona.”

 

His sister was not a very good morning person, though his Kibummie beat her in it. Her fringe was up in a little tie and she glared with half the eyebrows she had, Jonghyun always thought she looked funny now that he had gotten used to seeing her with her make-uped eyebrows drawn on. “Don’t frown, it gives you wrinkles.” Jonghyun reminded her and made his second mother chuckle as she sat down his breakfast.

 

“Aigoo, are you not specially giddy this morning?” Jonghyun let her pinch his cheek in a way to thank her for the food before digging in. “I packed your lunch today so make sure you share it. There is some extra. You will need it, it is Monday after all.” He couldn’t need it more. So when it was time he kissed his mothers on the cheeks and grabbed his packed lunch and ran outside.

 

Kibum was already waiting. His hands were in his pockets to protect them against the chilly wind. Should Jonghyun hold them to warm them? They met eyes and there was that second. Nothing happened but everything happened. Jonghyun saw a soft blush spread over the younger’s face and felt one himself.

 

The walk to school though was mostly silent. Jonghyun was humming but Kibum was too shy to speak it seemed. Until they rounded the corner and their school came in sight. “Hyung?” Kibum pulled Jonghyun’s attention in less than a second. The younger was clearly uncomfortable and Jonghyun smiled just to make him feel more secure.

 

“No one should know.” Kibum whispered just loud enough for Jonghyun to hear. It didn’t really come to him as a surprise that Kibum wanted them to be a secret, he already figured that out by himself, smart boy. He zipped his lips and threw the imaginary key away. “Yeah, but I will bring you to class and we’ll have lunch together.” It was just the norm and Kibum couldn’t argue with that. So Jonghyun took it to himself to throw an arm over his shoulder and pull him into the school building.

~~~~ 

The day was normal and Jonghyun enjoyed Kibum’s company. It was casual, he even smiled while Minho was in the picture. After all, Minho was just a friend and Jonghyun, well Jonghyun was special. The thought was enough to make him smile. So he did, not noticing that he looked like an idiot doing so. Kibum was used to it anyways but Minho was quite surprised.

Monday classes drew to an end and Jonghyun took Kibum home. Yet it was hard to say good bye. It seemed Kibum was shy again and Jonghyun thought he might want a kiss. But on the streets? Wouldn’t that be a bad idea? “I will pass by this evening, okay?” Jonghyun whispered, ushering Kibum to his door step as people passed by their houses. That idea seemed to sit well since Kibum nodded before he disappeared.

Jonghyun had homework to do and it was not one given by any teachers. This would after all be his only chance. Mother was working and his sister also in a coffee shop down town. There would be no one in the house paying attention to him. The computer room was save and his only hope, after all. His fingers hover over the keyboard. Please internet help him. He swallowed his nerves once more and typed.

 

“How to have gay sex?”


	9. The boy's little secret

Through Monday to Friday Jonghyun was not allowed to do anything out of the norm and when school came to an end, just two days after on Thursday afternoon, Jonghyun broke. They had been texting of course, innocent flirting and endless teasing but it was not the same. It was key to read body language and Jonghyun never felt like waiting all the time for a reply.

Not when Kibum was just so close that he could literally hop over. And when homework didn’t keep his attention and the younger took his time to reply, Jonghyun snapped. He had all the right to be in the younger’s room right now. That fact only made him get up and out the window. He hissed when he was hit with a cold wind on the roof. It was getting cold fast and he had forgotten that he was only in his pyjamas.

He rushed over, hugging his sleeveless arms close and knocked on the window. He was wearing shorts on top of all of these and he shivered audibly. Where was Kibum? His lights were on but Jonghyun could not spy him when he looked through the crack between the blinds. Should he go back and knock a little later? But there was movement just a second as the door seemed to open.

Jonghyun knocked on the window again but felt his heart drop when it wasn’t the cute younger. His mother stared at him for a bit before realising that she had to open the window for him. “Ah, Mrs Kim, Hello. I –I was wondering if Kibum could help me with some homework…” He stuttered. He didn’t have a book with him, not even a pen but he still hoped the lie was at least a little believable.

She said nothing but let him in all the same, questioning his entirety for just a second. “You shouldn’t use the fire exit and you should dress better.” She said finally, with a hint of sternness. Jonghyun hung his head, receiving the scolding with all guilt. “Well, Kibum is taking a shower. He will be out soon. I guess you can wait here.” Jonghyun nodded and bowed. He still thought that Kibum’s mother was often too strict and had a very cold attitude, something Kibum had picked up. Yet just like the younger, he thought that once past the first line of coldness she would probably be a very kind woman. Even though he still had never seen it.

She let him get comfortable sitting on the bed but the second she left Jonghyun slid off to sit on the floor instead. It was saver that way and he had a backrest. It was then when he found something under the pillow. A book, and Jonghyun knew that he shouldn’t. Still, of course he would. He was not really thinking about the whole picture. If Kibum was hiding something it was interesting and he was his best friend. Kibum didn’t need secrets.

It proofed to be a book, a comic book to be precise. The cover showed two boys with beautifully sparkling eyes and wavy hair. One shorter pressed against the lockers while the taller one leaned over him. It seemed like one of the comics his sister was reading too. Though Jonghyun never knew what they were about since she was always hiding them in her bedroom. A place so off limits to him he didn’t even dare knock on the door.

Funny that Kibum was reading them too. They must be populare.Jonghyun flipped through the book but nearly dropped it. Did he just see that right? He traced back his steps and opened it fully when he found the right pages. Jonghyun gasped. There, The two boys, there were… Jonghyun swallowed. This was just… Jonghyun didn’t know but he was even getting a little excited. He was looking at a drawing of two boys kissing, touching and, well you know. He couldn’t look at it anymore. Why did Kibum even have this?

It was dirty and really should not be hidden under the pillow. Still Jonghyun put it back there when he heard someone come up the stairs. He couldn’t hide his blush though, when Kibum came through the door. Clearly, his mother had already told him that he was sitting in his room since the younger was not surprised.

“And what brings you here?” Kibum asked with an almost bored tone. Jonghyun pouted and got up just to be near to equal lengths. “I missed you.” He said simply, his boldness creating a blush on the younger’s face. “It has only been like three hours.” Kibum rolled his eyes just to get some control back into the situation.

Too bad Jonghyun stole a kiss then and there. Something that Kibum never expected, just a split second his lips were stolen and Jonghyun had a grin plastered on his face. “Ya-yah! Do you want to die?” Jonghyun rushed to the other end of the small room but without much result. Kibum still got his hands on him and hit the idiot. The poor puppy did his best to cover his head to save useless brain cells but he had to think fast if he wanted any left at the end of the day.

He opted to an attacking defence. Taking Kibum in a crouching position, like in ruby. That way his head was save for the most part and his back took all the beating. Jonghyun pushed Kibum on to the bed with force. Making the younger fall on the pillows in surprise and using that in an advantage to climb onto him and pin him down.

Jonghyun held a hold on his wrists making his fist useless and Kibum blinked. Now what? He was at Jonghyun’s mercy and he didn’t like the smirk the elder had on his face. “You can’t stop me.” Jonghyun teased but it only made Kibum fight with all his might. His hips thrusting and legs kicking. Nothing would calm him down but one thing. Kibum had walked into the trap Jonghyun wanted all this time. He lent over and kissed Kibum again, deeper this time.

The elder had won. The lips pressed against him made Kibum motionless. Jonghyun had tamed the beast and took full responsibility. He pressed and pulled, kissing the younger again and again, only opening his eye to check that Kibum’s were closed. They were and Jonghyun thought that would be enough. A shy tongue ventured out and touched pink lips. Nothing. Jonghyun tried again, hoping Kibum would get the hint to what he wanted to start.

Nothing. Jonghyun felt his heart sink. This should work right? And what if Kibum didn’t want to ‘make out’? Well, third time is the charm. Jonghyun opened his lips ever so slightly. A reaction! Jonghyun sprung on it but pulled back just as fast as sharp teeth pierced his tongue. He sat back, whimpering and holding his hand over his mouth with a hurt expression. Kibum was glaring at him.

“Next time, brush your teeth before you try that. You have been drinking black garlic tea*. What are you trying?” The younger hissed at him while Jonghyun was still cradling his hurt organ. “My mother gave it to me. I need to be a healthy man!” He whimpered the truth but Kibum was far from believing him. “Yeah, right. You are just a pervert. Coming to my room after that.”

Jonghyun pouted. That was so not the cause here. “Well, if you hate it that much. I will go.” Clearly it was wrong to come here, in his pyjamas no less. Jonghyun was already getting up but a small tug on his wife-beater made him stop. What was Kibum playing at? The younger was sitting cross-legged on his bed and not letting go of Jonghyun’s clothes. Talk about bipolar messages.

“What do you want me to do?” Jonghyun asked, when in doubt a question wouldn’t hurt, because now Jonghyun was confused. “You can stay and we could chat.” Well, maybe another day he could get the chance to kiss Kibum like in the movies. Jonghyun sighed and got off the bed fully and sat down on the floor, facing away from Kibum. “Are… are you annoyed with me?” the younger hesitantly asked him.

Well, yes. Jonghyun was annoyed with him. You know, at least Jonghyun tried to do something. It was getting a bit unfair. Even if Jonghyun was the one that asked Kibum out Jonghyun was still the only one that was trying to get anything out of it. “Do you… want to sit on the bed with me?” Kibum asked. That stole his attention. Was Kibum for real? Jonghyun turned so fast looking at Kibum with disbelieve, a puppy that was allowed on the bed for the first time. That was a big thing.

Kibum petted the soft bed next to him and Jonghyun didn’t have to be told twice. He jumped right next to Kibum with a happy smile on his face, unbelievable. What a big step in Jonghyun’s life. He sat himself down on the exact spot that Kibum had petted, grinning at the younger like an idiot.

“What do you want?” The sassier one of the two asked with Jonghyun did nothing but beam. “I want to kiss you again.” He said bluntly, watching how a blush covered Kibum’s cheeks. “No.” Kibum stood up off the bed and Jonghyun pouted. Was he a bad kisser? Didn’t Kibum like it when he got kissed? “At least have this.”

Jonghyun looked up, his eyes falling on the piece of gum Kibum was holding out. Well maybe it was really his breath. He took the offered candy and smiled while the younger popped one in his mouth too before sitting down on his bed again. “So did you already finish all your homework?” Jonghyun asked just to get the conversation to start.

Kibum gave him a funny look, backing up so that his back would be against the wall. He was getting more comfortable letting Jonghyun do the same. “Yeah, I did but what do you care?” Well, that was one way to kill the small talk. Jonghyun sighed. “Bummie, do you hate getting kissed?” the younger shot up, his eyes slightly wide as he stared at Jonghyun. “N-no…”

Jonghyun cocked his head. “Then why do you always push me away?” Well, that was not true, Kibum had only pushed him away twice out of their three kisses. The younger fingered the hem of his shirt. “Well, I don’t hate it. You just always surprise me, is all.” Jonghyun smiled. Did the other know how cute he was looking in his plain white shirt and his baby blue fluffy pants with printed teddy bears? “So if I warn you it’ll be okay?” Kibum looked even more confused. Jonghyun didn’t really let him think about it all.

“I’m going to kiss you.” He was already leaning in and Kibum had nowhere to go. His back was pressed against the wall and his lips covered with Jonghyun’s. There was still that moment of shock but Kibum let him this time. There was no reason to pull back and Jonghyun like that Kibum was giving him his opportunity. He took it slow, not wanting to scare the younger. His hand still on the sheets only his lips touching the other.

“There, was that so bad?” Jonghyun grinned when he pulled back. If he really was a bad kisser than Kibum would have already thrown him out of the window. Instead the younger looked absolutely flustered. His lips were slightly parted, his eyes half lidded and a blush covering his cheeks.

He looked so cute. Jonghyun had to blink himself. This look, it was so much better than his imagination. His image where Kibum was blushing and panting under him. His breath hitched and he didn’t really think about what he was doing. His lip searched up Kibum’s again, this time with more force. 

He didn’t even realise when he had pressed so hard that Kibum slid down the wall. He didn’t realise that he was hovering over the younger, his kiss only deepening when the other didn’t fight back. Kibum let him, he let the elder’s trembling lips touch his, feeling too shy to do much more than mirror Jonghyun’s actions. Kibum was starting to kiss back.

Puckering out his lips more and more the liplock started to have more fire. Electrical shocks were flying through their skin and Jonghyun didn’t know what that meant but it was not unpleasant. No, it was quite nice to feel Kibum shy away just the slightest when he pressed harder. The mattress under him didn’t let him go anywhere. Jonghyun had him trapped with both his hands beside his shoulders. But it was heavy for him, maybe he should lie down too.

His elbows hit the sheets and a hand somehow found the back of Kibum’s neck. The touch was so soft that the younger had to gasp. Jonghyun took it as a completely different motive. Again, shyly his tongue played. But this time there seemed no danger. Kibum was too distracted with the gentle massage he was getting behind his ear by Jonghyun’s thumb.

The elder took a leap of faith and opened his mouth wider. Kibum swallowed in a breath and took the tip of the other’s tongue with it. They touched, the wet muscles met and greeted each other sweetly. That second everything seemed to be slowing down even more. Kibum’s hands were looking blindly for something to hold and Jonghyun ever so considerately traced his lips over his. Opening his mouth so now and then just so that their tongues could get more acquainted.

Never too much, never speeding up. There were hands now on Jonghyun’s back, daring to pull the elder closer. He smiled at the innocent confidence Kibum had all of a sudden. It made his lips press harder again soft pink ones. Turning his head to the side so that his crooked nose didn’t crash into Kibum’s cute button one.

A sharp shiver went through Jonghyun when he felt the younger’s open wider, the sweet minty muscle for the first time going for the attack and Jonghyun let him enter his mouth, Totally encouraging such rash decisions. It gave him the bravery to move his own hand down the younger’s body. There was a small moan Kibum couldn’t help let out when Jonghyun’s warm hand found the hem of his shirt. When Kibum had slid down to the bed, his pyjama had risen ever so slightly too. Jonghyun took that as a sign of god. That little bit of skin around Kibum’s waist was free for him to touch.

Kibum wanted to whimper, scrum when Jonghyun’s touch grazed so lightly over him. The elder didn’t let him though. The kiss was too deep, a lip lock that had grown too intense for breath. Jonghyun had pulled the younger by the neck closer causing their chests to be pressed together. Their tongues now freely dancing.

Until Jonghyun’s hand fully pressed against Kibum’s hot skin was it that the younger could get out his moan. Soft and sweet the vibrations travelled to Jonghyun and he shivered in response. He wanted more, wanted to feel more, taste, hear more.

“Kibum-ah! It’s past ten. You have to go to bed soon.” The lip lock broke and they froze, so frightened that they couldn’t move. Jonghyun’s eyes were wide staring into Kibum’s. The younger’s lips trembled but then he knew what to do. His mother didn’t bother coming into his room too often but only if to check if he had heard her. “Yeah, okay. Jonghyun is leaving now.” He shouted back, just a little louder than usual to make sure she would hear perfectly. “Ah, Good night Jonghyun-ah.” His mother added before Jonghyun could take a first breath.

“Thank you for having me over.” The elder replied and finally moved off Kibum. “I should get going then.” He added a little too shy to look Kibum in the eye. That was close, really close. The younger smiled and nodded. “Yes, I think so.” They had gotten up and Kibum followed Jonghyun to the window, holding it when Jonghyun climbed out side.

“Good night.” Kibum’s voice was soft and sweet and Jonghyun smiled at him. His hand reached to cover a blushed cover cheek, forcing Kibum to look at him. “Sleep tight.” He leant in close and pressed another kiss on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Black garlic tea.
> 
> ****
> 
> It is part of Korean traditional medicine. It is specially popular with men, or the mother’s that want healthy little men! Often it is given as a gift too. As a celebration of new year/birthday /milestone of life. It's health benefits are much like ginseng. It gives the drinker more energy, digestion, against aging and ( or most important) 'last longer' in sex (aka have a better sex life). (Yet that is I myth I still don’t really believe in) really it is a running gag at this point. 
> 
> Eh, anyways, I tried it for fun...... Its taste is not that bad. Its nothing like garlic. Its like a heavy overly sweet tea. Really earthy but weird. I don’t really like it that much but I only had it like once. Since it is mostly men that drink it. We girls have other ways to stay pretty and stress-less. But yeah, it is a popular gift to any SHINee member and they drink all types of magical teas. It makes you glow and stuff and especially for Jong, since it is believed to help you grow… and well. He needs it. but then again; “Being tall is not everything.”


	10. Not as planned

Jonghyun closed his window. His room was dark and he needed to go to bed too. But He was wide awake and something inside of him made him do a happy dance. This was amazing. Never in his life would he have thought to share a kiss like that. Never in his life thinking that a simple pressing of lips could get him so excited, so awake, so alive. He needed to breathe, his heart still racing and his hands sweating. Oh, he needed to do that again. He wanted to run back and sneak into Kibum’s room and kiss some more. Be close to him as they got sleepy, warm and cuddly. Jonghyun wanted to squeeze the younger like a teddy bear.

But there was no way he could. Kibum would kill him. He will just have to suffer with the biggest smile on his face. What a cruel world he was living in. He hopped to bed and let his body fall on the soft pillows. Tomorrow, no wait. He shouldn’t move too fast. He sighed. This weekend? No, too predictable. Next week, yes, it was perfection. He left Kibum wanting more and he just wanted to give him more frustrations. Yes, Kibum needed to want him, want him so badly. The idea made Jonghyun blush.

So The weekend was spend on another date. Jonghyun was making sure that he gave his interest all the attention he needed. Jonghyun took him out for dinner, a Japanese grill where smoked meats were on the menu. Everything was so mouth-watering and Kibum forgot about the diets or even chewing. Jonghyun took the opportunity to feed Kibum everything off his own chopsticks. The younger not realising that Jonghyun was grinning about their indirect kisses all night long.

He couldn’t possibly miss there romantic walk part of their dates too. Kibum, with a full tummy was forgetting to play shy and he was too energetic to walk quietly. So Jonghyun took him into the park and they played tag with a little bit too much pulling and pushing. Instead of just tagging the other you had to pull them into a hug and somehow it was all ways Jonghyun’s turn to catch the younger. Not that he minded, he was a lot faster than Kibum so the giggling boy didn’t have a chance to win.

Jonghyun even had to tackle the other at one point. Kibum was laughing with glee when Jonghyun pulled him off his feet and into the air just so that he wouldn’t get away. No more space between their bodies just to plant a small innocent kiss on his cheek. That made him quiet down, shy and realise their bodies. Chest heaving, arms around each other, Jonghyun was staring intently at him, through the dark. Yet Kibum couldn’t find it in himself to feel uncomfortable.

“What do you think you are doing?” Kibum asked, his mouth just centimetres away from Jonghyun’s lips. “Just playing?” He was, with fire no less. A young gay couple hugging and kissing in a little park where there knew everyone at. Jonghyun was surely a fool, yet the darkness of the night gave him bravery and he took his luck. Pressing his lips softly against Kibum’s just to prove his point before he let go completely. He knew better than to continue and he still had to act according to his well thought out, genius plan. He didn’t want to throw out all his cards like that.

They went home. Jonghyun stealing another kiss before bed. Just a little knock on the window and a stolen peck. Jonghyun couldn’t get his rest until he knew for sure that Kibum was thinking about it. He wanted the other to be crazy for him. That way he knew that nothing would stop him.

~~~

Jonghyun was taking Kibum home that evening on Tuesday. It was already getting late, they had stayed at school for study groups and Jonghyun may or may not have skipped a lesson to strum on the guitar in the music room. But these were unimportant details. What was important now was that Jonghyun followed Kibum to his doorstep instead of leaving by the gate.

“Do you want something?” Kibum asked when he felt Jonghyun breathe on his neck. He didn’t remember inviting his hyung. Jonghyun was playing dumb just smiling and nodding. The younger raised his eyebrow but opened the door and let Jonghyun in. To think about it, Kibum didn’t remember the last time Jonghyun entered his house through the front door. He usually just scratched at the window like a stray cat. But now Jonghyun seemed to have figured out how a door worked, good puppy.

To tell the truth, Jonghyun also didn’t remember when he was last in Kibum’s living room. There house felt a lot larger since they didn’t have a shop downstairs. They had spent it with a spacious living room and kitchen that seemed a bit too clean. To tell the truth, everything was a bit too clean. It didn’t seem used at all. Maybe that is why Jonghyun always felt too uncomfortable in it. “Lets go upstairs.”

Kibum’s room was a lot more to his taste. Though it was nowhere near as messy as his room, Kibum’s place had character. His comic books were not all aligned, there were clothes on the desk chair and pens on the floor. Jonghyun felt like he fit in just fine. “Do you want some snacks?” Well something salty didn’t sound so bad and tea wouldn’t hurt either.

Jonghyun helped Kibum in the kitchen and brought some things up to his room. Yet when all was set and they were sitting on the bed together the atmosphere came crashing down. Damn it, Jonghyun was pouting and Kibum was awkward. Well, what now? The elder grabbed the crisps they had brought and opened the bag. “If you want to eat them, get off my bed.”

Right, Kibum was still picky with his pillows. And after all this time Jonghyun was promoted to be important enough to be on his bed he was not about to give it up to some sweet potato. “I’m sorry.” He put the bag on the floor and returned to the awkward bubble.

“You don’t have too much homework, do you?” Jonghyun asked, knowing that the younger would usually head into the books around now. But this time Kibum shook his head. “I don’t have anything important to do.” That made the elder relieved. At least he was not extra stress on the perfect student. He smiled and looked at Kibum being a bit too shy for his outgoing personality.

“Can I kiss you?” Jonghyun asked like it was the simplest question to answer. Kibum looked up in shock. It was really the boldest thing to come out of Jonghyun’s mouth that entire day. “You- you shouldn’t ask.” The elder raised his eyebrow. “So I can just kiss you whenever I feel like it?” Last time Jonghyun did that it could have gone terribly wrong.

“I’m just being polite.” Polite, my ass. Kibum scoffed. Jonghyun playing a nice guy even though he already figured out that he had nothing good planned. He knew just the way too wipe that smirk of Jonghyun’s face. Kibum lent close and kissed him, hard. To Jonghyun double surprise the younger pulled back just as fast.

“You just…” Jonghyun blinked. He had too, after all it was the first time that Kibum had kissed him. A smile broke out on his lips, he felt warm and it was all Kibum’s fault. He didn’t think more about it but pulled the other harshly towards him. The younger yelped, ending up in Jonghyun’s lap and his lips covered with Jonghyun’s.

Well, it was either now or later. Kibum closed his eyes and kissed back softly. Even though the start of it was unexpected, the liplock soon sweetened up. Kibum was comfortable in Jonghyun’s lap, his arms around his neck while Jonghyun had his around Kibum’s middle. Though, they didn’t really know what to do with their hands.

Not knowing what to do more, the kiss broke. Their smile turning awkward and blushes cover both of there faces. “Are you... good?” Jonghyun whispered, just to make sure that he was not crossing any bounds. Kibum bit his lip but still nodded. He was, well he didn’t really know what he was feeling. It was a mix. Nervous was one of them, one that he was feeling mostly but then there was also comfort. He felt in place on Jonghyun’s lap.

Jonghyun didn’t leave him to his thoughts, he wanted to steal him away. He needed to be the only one that Kibum was thinking about. Therefore, he stole his lips again. Being more eager this time, more pressing about it. He needed to get the message across that this was no joke. That things were starting to become serious.

And this time Jonghyun didn’t just want a kiss. Last time he got to feel a little bit of skin and this was a perfect opportunity. More so when Kibum was sitting on him. He had all the freedom to do what he wanted. His hands where already itching to touch and without much thinking he found them on the hem of Kibum’s shirt.

The younger flinched when cold hands grazed his back but soon got used to it again. They felt soft even though Jonghyun’s finger tips had grown hard over his guitars strings. Somehow that didn’t bother him, neither did Jonghyun's chapped lips against his. It was strange that something that he usually nagged the other about now were the last things on his mind. He didn’t care if Jonghyun had washed his hands or that he could still taste the elder’s snack on his tongue.

Kibum wanted him to touch him. He wanted to kiss him, feel him. Jonghyun was engrossed in him and Kibum loved it. He was feeling good and the feeling increase the more Jonghyun’s hand went up. All of a sudden Kibum didn’t care that he was flat chested, that Jonghyun didn’t know what to do with a boy like him. Whatever he was doing it felt good. Though Jonghyun was fighting an inner battle, was he allowed to touch Kibum’s nipples? Was that still a red light?

You would never know if you don’t try. Jonghyun stilled his hand just under Kibum’s armpit, concentrating on kissing for a second before attacking with his thumb. The digit passed gently over the little nob but the result was tenfold. Kibum shivered and pressed his lips harder down on Jonghyun, his hand lost in the elder’s hair. It was perfect. At least Jonghyun didn’t have to bother with untying a bra.

Not that he really knew what the reaction would be if he touched a girl there, Kibum’s version was pretty great too. Jonghyun wanted to do it again, liking how the shiver the younger’s body made travelled to his lap. Gosh that felt good, and when Jonghyun repeated his action Kibum even let out a little sound. Jonghyun broke the kiss just enough to free their lips. He wanted to know what that was. His thump traced over the now hard nob before he heard it. A moan, a cute little whimper and that was what done it.

Jonghyun’s little man twitched and he started to feel uncomfortable with the extra weight on his lap. Something inside of him made him move. Clumsily Kibum slid off his seat and lost his balance completely when Jonghyun tackled him. He realised too late that his shirt was pushed all the way up and Jonghyun was not going to kiss him more.

Kibum gasped as Jonghyun attacked his neck. Licking and nibbling like a hungry beast and gauchely searching with his hand over his chest. Well, maybe he did miss boobs a little. It was much easier to find nipples with them than on a flat male.

But Jonghyun was not discouraged. Just a couple of seconds and Kibum had to bit the back of his hand not to sound like a total slut. God, nipples were not supposed to do that! Yet Kibum’s cheeks were on fire and his legs were useless when he scrummed them around. Jonghyun was already between them and the extra movement was a terrible mistake.

Their crotches collided. Little Jonghyun met little Kibum for the first time, hard. Both of them groaned, not expecting that type of reaction to happen. That feeling of electricity, a pleasurable shock. Oh dear god that was something Jonghyun had never felt before. He wanted that again. His lips crashed onto Kibum’s his hips just as hard.

The younger was beyond reason at this point. Never did he thought he would do those type of things with his best friend. Yet he was not about to stop Jonghyun from doing whatever he was doing with his hips. Gosh, that felt good. But still there was something that could make it feel so much better.

Jonghyun shot up, leaning back and pulling at Kibum’s slim waistband. If only that stupid belt was not in the way. Kibum didn’t really know what to do at that point. He just looked on lost before Jonghyun did get his pants open. Then it snapped.

A hand stopped Jonghyun and the elder looked up. “Wh-what are you doing?” The elder looked up. Kibum was scared, nervous and that was not good. “I thought ...we could…” Jonghyun started but Kibum was already shaking his head. No, he couldn’t; not like that. “I was… supposed…” Kibum started but he couldn’t find the right words. Jonghyun was confused. He was allowed to kiss the other, touch the other but here was the line. Then Jonghyun needed to wait; was Kibum not trusting him?

The elder let the belt he was holding go like he was burned. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” He was getting worried. It was not usual to see Kibum so angsty. “I was wondering, you know…” Jonghyun waited patiently for the other to finish even though that would not happen so fast. Kibum bit his lip, helpless.

“I don’t want to…” Kibum didn’t meet his eye. “under…” He mumbled and all the blood left Jonghyun’s face. “Wait, you want me to... You know?” Bingo. Kibum’s head sprung up, a hopeful glimmer in his eyes. Would he mind?

“No, I don’t think I could do that. Never! I’m older than you!” Kibum’s world came crashing down. This was not a matter of age. “I’m taller than you!” The younger retaliated but Jonghyun was unfazed. “I’m still stronger. Plus you are the one that is more gay.” Wait, when did that happen? Were they not equally gay? They were dating each other.

“You were the one that asked me out!” Kibum cried out desperate at this point. “That logic does not make any sense!” Jonghyun clapped his hand over his eyes pulling it down his face in frustration. “Come on, Bummie. You know I would never hurt you. I have even red about it. If I’m just careful.” “That is not the point. I know what they have written. It still hurts!”

It took a second before Jonghyun’s mouth fell open and Kibum gasped. His hand flu to his mouth covering it before he could say more. “You have tried it!” Jonghyun didn’t know but this was kind of funny, but then it sunk even deeper. Kibum had tried it; his eyebrows drew higher. “Alone?” Nobody else touched his little Kibummie, right?

Kibum hit him, hard. “oO course… I mean no! I didn’t do anything! Get that idea out of your head. You pervert” Too bad that image was burned in now. Kibum had so tried to finger himself. Jonghyun got the giggles at that point. This was a piece of amazing black mail material. He just pulled the beet red boy back into his lap.

“I could do it better you know.” He said smugly. Though there was no truth in his words, he was willing to give it a try. Kibum hit him again. “Get out!” If it was an uncommon thing for Kibum to say, Jonghyun might have been hurt by the harsh tone. But then he was used to it by now. He understood enough and let Kibum slide off his lap.

“Okay, Okay. But just think about it. I will never hurt you.” He got up and stretched. He straightened out his clothes and got to the window. “Your shoes.” Kibum reminded him, now shy. He had pulled down his shirt and didn’t really know what to do. His face was a red mess. “I will show myself out then.” But Kibum shook his head. Jonghyun smiled again. Well, maybe he was allowed to stay a little longer.


	11. Love goes through the stomach

"Bummie..." Jonghyun groaned. It was so unfair. The boy flipped his phone open, no new messages, no nothing. "Bummie..." Jonghyun whined again. He was bored, nothing to do but to study. Something he really didn't want to be doing. He was in the library after all. He was waiting, instead of studying. It was that time of the semester again, the one filled with exams and tedious study hours. Jonghyun was so desperate to avoid it. Yet the school had closed the music room in order to discourage anyone that was trying to run away from responsibilities. Something the final year student was so into.

Yet he couldn’t fully disappear from school. He was waiting for a special person to finish his extra English study session. Kibum had promised to eat dinner with him and it was already half past six. How long did Jonghyun have to wait? How long did he had to pretend that he understood this algebra question written down on his paper? He actually tried twice, getting two different answers while the answer written in the back of the book was completely different again.

"What are you moping about?" Jonghyun's head shot up but a pout grew when it was only Jinki. "Nothing, just maths." His friend smiled, wouldn't he be a good friend and help him out? Jinki sat down and pulled Jonghyun's papers close, looking at his failed attempts. "You didn't do it wrong, there is just a small mistake, you are just being careless." Jonghyun frowned, careless? Wasn't that a little harsh? "Look." Jinki pointed at the third line of his working. "You subtracted at both sides here instead of subtracting and adding it at the other side. If you did it right here, you would have gotten the right answer." Blimey, Jinki was right, who would have guess the number one student in class could do maths.

"Wow, look at you." A hand passed over his shoulder and the only free seat next to him got useful. Kibum smiled at him and gave Jinki a respectful hello. A shiver went down Jonghyun's spine, he did like how Kibum touched him. "He is not that bad as he says. Jonghyun just needs a bit of motivation." Ah, how nice it was to have people talk about him while he was sitting in the middle. The unfortunate boy pouted, well maybe if Kibum would give him a kiss every time he got a question right he would be motivated to do his homework so now and then. But he could not say that with Jinki there.

The conversation was cut short when Jonghyun's stomach made a loud grumble. Jinki looked shock yet Kibum was already used to how loud the other's insides could complain. "Hungry?" The youngest asked casually and Jonghyun whimpered. "Dying." Jinki smiled, "Well, it is late. We should all get home." They all agreed and got up to get out of prison.

All together they walked to the school gates, Kibum in the middle of the two final year students. "Say, I'm really glad you two made up again. I mean Jonghyun was so depressed it was affecting the whole mood of the class." The younger looked strangely at his elder. "But we never fought." Jonghyun started to be a little nervous. How to explain their situation without giving too much away? Jinki looked just as surprised. "But Jonghyun said you were upset with him and didn't want to talk to him anymore." Something clicked in Kibum's head and he laughed. His shoulder hit Jonghyun's. "Oh, you know him. A little drama queen. It was nothing really. He just overthought the whole thing. He stepped on my toes for a little." Kibum explained.

Jinki seemed to take the lie well. After all it was not so hard to believe that Jonghyun cried over petty little thinks. Once again the boy was pouting. This entire day Kibum had been belittling him. It was so unfair. “I can still hear you, you know.” It caused Kibum to giggle and link their arms together just to show to the other student that their relationship was in fact all alright. Jinki was smiling at them fondly while Jonghyun looked like a grumpy boyfriend. Whatever Kibum wanted, Jonghyun couldn’t stay angry at him anyway.

They separated at the gate of the school and Jonghyun used their still linked arms to pull Kibum to a little eatery that was not his mother’s. Not to be rude, he loved his mother’s cooking but today something else was on the menu. “You need to have extra energy and my mom gave me extra pay.” Jonghyun said as Kibum opened his mouth to protest. Though, the smell of meat frying and the sound of it sizzling got the younger too hungry to think. When was the last time they ate meat?

Jonghyun guided Kibum to the table with a grill in the middle and sat him down on the plastic chair. “What do you want to drink?” The elder added, looking at the board with their offering. “Just a soda.” Jonghyun nodded and sweetly asked the auntie.

Within a little bit Jonghyun’s stomach made another loud grumble and Kibum placed the long cuts of pork on the hot grill. They still have to wait but Jonghyun was already munching on the side dishes. “I’m so hungry.” He whimpered and Kibum giggled. “I think it was because you actually tried to do some studying.” The elder huffed. It so was not, his mother just didn’t give him enough for the extra hard lesson they were forced to study for. Next week was exam week after all, teachers were rushing to get the last material through their throats. Even though Jonghyun didn’t pay it too much attention he did get hungrier due to it. He couldn’t imagine how a person like Jinki was getting through it. But he was sure that his classmate must be eating meat everyday if he wanted to keep on top of things.

Kibum started to cut the meat into small bite size bits. Jonghyun was already trying to get one of the pieces but a hand slapped him away. “Not yet. Just another minute.” Jonghyun pouted. What was wrong with a bit of red meat? Ah, just a painful stomach, right. Kibum took a leaf of lettuce and put some chili paste and a slice of garlic on it. Jonghyun was looking hopeful. When Kibum started to pick up the pieces of meat to check it they were cooked through and through, the other was close to tears.

Then Kibum found a piece. Perfectly grilled and put it to place on his lettuce bed. Jonghyun took it as the clue to pick up his chopsticks. But he was stunned when Kibum held out the little food package in front of him. “Say ah.” Jonghyun’s eyes sparkled and he lent closer. His mouth wide opened calling out the first letter of the roman alphabet. Good god, life was good when Kibum fed him. He happily chewed moaning lowly as flavours exploded in his mouth. It was perfect.

They ate like that. Kibum taking care of the meat and Jonghyun in his little heaven. But being two hungry boys in the most important time of their growing life, it was soon that they had finished their food. They were happy though, filled up and spoiled. Jonghyun didn’t except Kibum’s pay and took the bill himself.

He even walked Kibum to his front door but declined when Kibum asked him if he wanted to come up. But Jonghyun shook his head. “Your mother will kill you if I keep you from your study. It is already nine thirty and you have to go to bed early.” The younger tried to hide his disappointment but still saw it flashing in his eyes. “I will come by for a goodnight kiss.” Jonghyun reassured and petted the taller boy. That seemed sufficient and the younger went inside.

Jonghyun waited until he was inside and the door was shut with a final wave before exhaling. He needed to do something drastic now and now was the only free time he would have for this week. He bit his lip and went home for a bit. He had it all planned out. He would greet his mother as usual, go upstairs and change then put on a little act that he had forgotten something and would have to run over to a classmate.

The first part of his plan went perfect. After all he had told his mother that he would get some meat on Kibum and to tell the truth he had already had prepared his outfit upstairs. Grey comfortable jogging pants and a black jumper that looked a bit ‘bad boy’. Jonghyun through on the clothes and checked himself out in the mirror he had on the permanent open closet door. He ruffled his hair and put on a bored expression. Perfect, he looked at least a couple of years older, he thought. No one could tell he was really a high schooler. 

He ran down stairs again and passed his mother. “Umma, I forgot my history book.” His mother didn’t even bother turning around. “And what do you want me to do about it?” It was a usual issue with a scatterbrain like Jonghyun to forget certain educational material. The boy whined, “I need it. Can I go over to Jinki? I texted him and he told me that he was done with it.” This time the lady turned to him. “Well, of course he is. Jinki is a very good student and always does his homework on time. It is almost ten and you are starting now?”

Jonghyun took the scolding without much fighting, it was just the price to pay. It would soon end, after all, Jonghyun was trying to do his homework and it was already late. There was no time to waste. He got a little hit on his head with a dish washer towel though, that he thought was uncalled for. But still he was outside and running.

He didn’t go to Jinki of course. It was a minimarket he was looking for. On that matter he passed the one that was closed to home. He needed to go to one he was not a regular from or things could get awkward. He huffed and puffed when finally he found a minimarket that he really never went to and looked inside. “Perfect.” He said to himself. There was no one in the shop and behind the counter was a boy not much older than him.

He strolled in, his facial expression bored and just as he had practiced. The boy greeted him and Jonghyun nodded. He had a list of things he needed to fake getting. First he got to the drinks. A mocca, capochino? No, he needed the espresso shot, bitter for grownups. He picked it up and looked over the shelfs. Next he needed chips, he had eaten those of his sister and he owned her as much. He grabbed the pack and when to the most important part of his trip.

He went to the shelf that had a bit over everything you might desperately need. Jonghyun looked at the first shelf to read the boxes but it proved just to be minor first aid stuff. He needed to go down a bit. The third seemed more promising. Jonghyun a grabbed a bottle but sighed when he red that it was lens liquid. That was not the thing he needed, his hand touched the box next to it and he winched.

No, definitely no need for tampons. He pouted. Where was it? Wait there, the last shelf, basically on the floor was what he needed. A black box with red letters red the word ‘Condoms’ with a little hart. But his hand passed the box and grabbed the white bottle. This was the one. Lube.

Yes, he did his homework. And specially, now that he knew that Kibum was scared of pain he might just be the professional he wanted to be. Lube was made for this, it was the key stone into getting to the next step. Jonghyun stud back up and calmed himself for a bit. He was holding it already. What could stop him? He turned to the cashier and up all his products on the counter. With his luck The boy wouldn’t even know what the little bottle was for or didn’t care to look.

But the boy couldn’t find the bar code on that article and had to take a good look. Jonghyun bit his lip, his body heating up fast but he tried to play cool. The clerk made a second of eye contact and Jonghyun felt a little bit of himself die. Find it already. Beep.

“Did you find everything you need?” The clerk asked and Jonghyun wondered if he should run back and get condoms as well, now that he was dying of embarrassment anyway. “Y-yeah, I got everything.” He bit his tongue and could hit himself. “That will be six thousand and two hundred won.” Jonghyun produced the money and the clerk put it all in a bag for him. Once outside Jonghyun let out a long breath. Dear god, that was terrible.

Condoms, that was next on his list. Not for today, He knew where he could get those. Well where about he could find it. But for today this was enough embarrassment. He had to hurry home anyways, he needed to get his good night kiss.


	12. Risks

Jonghyun was attentive. His sister was in the bathroom, maybe he should just go downstairs now. He moved to the small kitchen pretending to get something to drink. Still he paid attention, hiding behind the fridge door when his sister passed by. “Are you going to work?” He asked a little bit too fast. Sodam looked at him funnily, why would that be interesting for Jonghyun to know? “Yes, why?” His sister was a barista at a local café.

The younger shrugged. “I was wondering if you could get me one of these cookies they sell.” He lied and his older sibling rolled her eyes. “Get one yourself!” she called out as she disappeared downstairs. Jonghyun used his extra hearing powers to hear her talk a bit with their mother before leaving. A smile grew on his lips. He might better wait just a second to make sure that she didn’t return for something that she might have forgotten. She didn’t come back and Jonghyun sighed his nerves out. Now or never.

Jonghyun went to the room he didn’t remember the inside of. His sister’s bedroom was so off limits. He was about to break the law and he was shaking. If his sister found out, he was dead meat. Yet still he pressed the doorknob and got in. It was, just like his own, Jonghyun realised. Just a whole lot less messy. His sister had a bigger bed, lost Christmas lights hanging from the headboard and a couple of Shinhwa posters on the walls. Jonghyun smiled, it was so his sister.

Still he was on a mission. He didn’t have time to lose, he was racing time and he didn’t know where to start. The desk? Jonghyun got closer, books and pens everywhere and nothing that seemed like what he was looking for. No one would be just letting these things lay around. Jonghyun needed to dive in deeper. Maybe in her make up draw, near the mirror. There were lots of little creams and used cotton bubs. Jonghyun raised his eyebrow at the number of lipsticks she had. She didn’t even use these things, why have them? He didn’t even think these things were attractive on girls.

But still, with all the distraction he didn’t find what he was looking for. Maybe with her jewellery collection. Jonghyun opened boxes and looked into drawers but didn’t find it. He was getting really nervous at this point.

He opened another draw and gasped again. What was this? An assortment of tampons? Why the bloody hell would you need so many. Oh, right. Bloody hell… Jonghyun pulled a face and slowly closed the drawer, scared that maybe they would attack him or worse, tell on him. He was running out of places that he could search. But one place still existed, The boy turned with a terrified look. The nightstand.

Why would she be hiding them there? Did she expect anything to happen in her own bed? Did she bring men here? Jonghyun was horrified with the idea, it couldn’t be, right? But he pulled the drawer open and bit his lip. It looked terribly possible. He ignored the papers there, there little boxes that were too small. A little box once had innocent chocolates but now. Jonghyun opened the heart shaped package and gasped one final time. Bingo!

Three little foil bags lay there in all their innocence. They looked like they had all been taken from a love hotel, none of them matched but Jonghyun didn’t care. He just needed one. And he grabbed one before shutting the box with a little of disgust. Jonghyun already hated the idea that his sister had these. But so close to her bed? Jonghyun wanted to meet the lucky man if there was one, and then punch him.

But for now he needed to get the hell out of here. Jonghyun shut the drawer and jogged to the door. So close to complete his mission and then he could shower. He was shaking just a bit and sweating more than he should but that was all the price he wanted to pay. Kibum would be so proud to find out how well prepared he was. It made a small smile form on his lips when he listened if there was anyone outside.

There was nobody and Jonghyun ran out shutting the door as quietly as possible. He had the foil tightly in his hand and raced to the bathroom. A shower, he locked the door and for the first time he felt save again. Nobody knew and even if his sister missed that one condom she was not about to confront him about it. He, the innocent younger brother, he could just blackmail her with threatening telling their mother. 

He stripped and started the shower. Humming at the thought of getting the sweat off. The room started to steam up and Jonghyun got in. Ah, that was all he needed to relax his shoulders. After all Kibum hated it if he smelt. He started to scrub his skin, paying extra attention to certain parts of his body.

Singing a song, Jonghyun got out the shower. His hair still wet and a towel over his shoulders. He should check his phone, sure that Kibum texted him. He was not more right. Not one but two messages. “Wanna come over?” and an annoyingly cute “Hyuuuunnngg?” Well, he did have to pet his kitten once in a while plus he really wanted to see him too. Jonghyun put his hand in his pocket and fell a bucket of ice fall over him. It wasn’t there! Shit!

Jonghyun ran down the stairs getting a weird look from his sister that just got up the stairs. “Oh you’re back.” Jonghyun asked still not halting his race to the bathroom. His sister just looked at him funnily, but she didn’t get anything more then he locked himself in to the bathroom. “Explosive diarrhoea?” Jonghyun ignored her, he had more pressing matters.

Yet within a second his breath came back to him. The little foil was innocently lying there on the sink next to the toothbrushes. He put his life on the line for this and he almost forgot it. How could he be such an airhead?

Never the less it all ended save and he needed to be grateful for it. He would live another day and he would have to take the most of it. So, he put the condom in his pocket and headed out. He needed to see Kibum. Maybe he needed to bring lube to, just to be sure. When he was upstairs, he thought about it again. No, not tonight. He never wanted to push Kibum to do anything. There was no need to rush things.

Jonghyun smiled and got a jumper out of the pile of washing. It was chilly and Jonghyun didn’t need to get ill. He rushed over the roof and knocked on the younger’s window. Just a second later Kibum appeared with an adorable pout. “Were you waiting long?” Jonghyun asked just when the younger opened the window. “You didn’t reply.”

Jonghyun climbed in and caught Kibum’s wrist just so that he could pull him closer and peck his cheek. “I’m sorry. I was showering.” It wasn’t a lie and he had his still wet hair to prove it. The younger seemed uninterested at this point. He escaped Jonghyun’s hands and got back to his desk. “I need to finish this.” And the elder nodded expecting as much. He was happy to lay down on the bed waiting and snoozing a bit.

~~~~

Jonghyun had his eyes closed until he felt something dip the bed. Kibum was getting on and it was time to attack. He closed his eyes just as fast pretending to sleep to see what the younger would do. There was nothing happening but when Jonghyun felt the breath of the other on his lips he could not help but smile.

“Stop pretending.” Kibum hissed and he poked Jonghyun side. The elder let out an unmanly squeak and crinched at his own sound. “I just wanted to see if you would kiss me.” Kibum rolled his eyes and Jonghyun sat up, pouting ever so slightly. “What are you? Sleeping beauty?” Well yes, that made him sound like the fairy-tale princess but Jonghyun shrugged. “Well, since you didn’t want me to be the princess, I will have to be prince charming in this relationship.”

Kibum blushed, what did that idiot just imply? Jonghyun was grinning wickedly and the younger knew that he was a goner. He hit Jonghyun’s shoulder but the elder was already too high on himself with what he did to care about the small ache. He got Kibum just where he wanted him, well not exactly. The elder pulled on Kibum’s arm and forced him to fall into his chest. There, that was better.

“Don’t worry too much about it. Or are you still scared?” Jonghyun desperately wanted Kibum to be comfortable with him. Talking about it might not be the most comfortable but it would get them somewhere. Kibum sighed against his chest his hands fisting the shirt there. “Fine, you win. I trust you.” And that might have been the best thing Kibum had ever said to him. Jonghyun pulled again just a bit and looked down.

Did he just hear right. Kibum didn’t meet his eye clearly too embarrassed to say too much on the matter. The truth was that he did thought about it long and hard and even before Jonghyun was in the picture. After all, Jonghyun had always done everything for him. He was the one person he would trust in the matter. Might as well do the deed with someone he completely trusted. Hell, with that train of thought, Jonghyun was the one person he had to do it with, there was no way that he would ever hurt him.

The elder was smiling softly to him moving just a bit so that Kibum could lay next to him instead. The mood was comfortable though heavy and Jonghyun realised that this could be a very very good thing for this relationship. Kibum took the hint and laid on his side facing Jonghyun; closed his eyes and sighing. Shit, the younger looked so kissable. Jonghyun had to bit his lip. What was Kibum thinking making him so hormonal?

Well, he was such a good boy after all, a little peck couldn’t hurt. Jonghyun lent close and touched his lips. When he pulled back, Kibum was blinking at him sweetly and Jonghyun couldn’t help but giggle like a maiden. But nothing more happened, Kibum rolled his eyes and Jonghyun started to play with the soft tuffs of the younger’s hair.

“Tomorrow. Can I stay over?” Jonghyun blurred out. But now that he thought about it, it wasn’t that bad of an idea. It would be Friday and why not. Kibum seemed to be thinking about it a second longer. There was a clear motive behind the question but he didn’t have any fight in him to stop Jonghyun from grinning. “Sure, why not. My mother has the night shift.” Shit, why did he have to say that? Jonghyun’s smile looked painful at this point, wicked and up to no good. “Really?” He asked just to be sure. Kibum hit is chest with a weak hand. “On that note. You may not come over.” Jonghyun just laughed it off, pulling Kibum closer. There was no need to cry over spilled milk. Kibum realised that he had already sealed his downfall, if Jonghyun’s high mood was something to take in account.


	13. Idiot with a plan

Jonghyun was in such a good mood today that the teacher got annoyed. No matter how many times he called on Jonghyun’s stupid face to give his answer of the most complicated math questions, the face didn’t lose it’s smile. No matter how many times Jonghyun answered wrong and how many times his stupidity made the class snort, Jonghyun was all sunshine. He didn’t care that he was made a fool. He didn’t care that he was being picked on.

Jinki even felt terrible, he was feeling bad for his friend. It was not normal to be called on so many times. And specially since it was maths. The teacher should have known that Jonghyun was going to do it all wrong. Jinki was questioning these teaching methods. Shouldn’t it make Jonghyun uncomfortable? And he did so much last week just to get Jonghyun to do his homework. Kibum would have been so proud if Jonghyun would pass his exam. There was no hope now.

Jinki crinched again when Jonghyun was called to answer yet another, simpler this time equation. But it turned painful when yet again Jonghyun called out a random number so far from the answer that it even amazed Jinki. How the bloody hell did Jonghyun get so far in life acting like this?

But fun seemed to end that way. It was not entertaining the teacher anymore and Jonghyun was left alone for the rest of the time with a stupid grin on his face. Jinki wondered what drug he was on. When the bell rang the boy spun around a bit too fast. Jonghyun blinked at him, surprised to say the least. “What are you doing?” Jinki asked not really knowing the best way to ask. Jonghyun kept blinking. “I’m getting ready to eat lunch. Why?” This person really.

“No, that is not what I meant. I mean, you are so happy. How come?” Jonghyun’s smile grow painful to see, all sunshine and rainbows. “Nothing, I’m just excited. I’m staying over at Kibum’s tonight.” Jinki frowned, was that so special that it destroyed brain cells? “So?” Jinki pressed and Jonghyun looked like he was the one that got all the maths wrong. “What do you mean ‘so’?” Jinki clearly didn’t understand what it meant and now thinking about it, Jonghyun couldn’t really tell him why it was so important. “He never lets me sleep over.” Just saying it like that did make it sound lame. But why should he be telling Jinki.

The elder boy rolled his eyes and turned back to his books. Whatever Jonghyun wanted. He was happy and Jinki was not going to take it away from him. After all it were the simple things in life that brought happiness. Jinki smiled to himself as he watch Jonghyun hurry passed the other students to get out of the classroom. No doubt that he would be looking for Kibum. Still the genius wondered what exactly was their relationship?

 

~~~

 

“Let’s eat at my place tonight.” Jonghyun said. Not really noticing that he had been playing with Kibum’s fingers. The younger hummed, not really paying him the attention he wanted. He was flipping through a magazine, looking at the idol’s hairstyles. Some of them were just ridiculous while others he really liked. His own hair was getting really long and he needed to cut it. He was already using a little clip to get it off his face when he was studying. But he didn’t really know what to do with it just yet.

He looked up though, when the stare he was feeling on him got to strong. “What are you looking at?” Kibum defended and Jonghyun pout grew into a smile at the much needed attention. “What are you pouting at?” Jonghyun asked and let Kibum roll his eyes. Well, even though Jonghyun knew nothing about looks he did know what he liked. Kibum showed him a page of his magazine and pointed out one of the members of H.O.T. “Would this suit me?” Jonghyun blinked. The member was wearing his hair spiked up and a head band, it looked weird. He looked up to Kibum before glancing down again.

“No.” Jonghyun said. He liked Kibum with a long fringe. It made him look puffy and innocent looking and this, this was a boy off the block. Nothing cute about it. Someone that would give you a hard time if you bumped into them on accident. Now to think about it, Kibum was someone that would give you a terribly hard time when you could step on his shoe but Jonghyun didn’t want him to look like that. He shook his head. “No.”

Kibum looked slightly surprised. “That is blunt coming from you.” Jonghyun blinked, what was he talking about? It was true. “That is funny coming from you.” He countered, “You never care about being discreet about these things.” Kibum shrugged at Jonghyun’s explanation. “I might be rubbing off on you.” This only made Jonghyun smirk. “Yeah, rubbing alright.” Kibum’s face fell and he shut his magazine just to get the pleasure to hit Jonghyun’s head with it.

~~~

When the school day drew to an end there was some tension in the air. Next Monday the midterm exams started but now there was weekend. Tension mixed with happiness of a spark freedom, what a strange contrast. But Jonghyun was not paying it any mind. He was rushing to get to Kibum’s locker, smiling when he could see Minho there. That would mean that Kibum was there too, he was just too small to see over the frog’s height.

“Sup’?” Jonghyun asked coolly, lip between his teeth and bored expression as he leaned on the next lockers. Minho’s eyes grew before averting them to the floor. Kibum only spared him a glance already not entertained with the act. He continued organising his books in the right order. “What was I saying before I was so rudely interrupted?” Kibum continued and Jonghyun pouted. Minho looked more than uncomfortable.

“The theory of relativity and Mercury.” Minho answered and Jonghyun could feel an instant headache. Why the devil would someone talk about that in their free time? “Ah yes, well it is like this, orbit of Mercury is shifting very gradually over time, due to the curvature of space-time around the massive sun. In a few billion years, it could even collide with Earth, believe it or not.” Minho looked generally surprised by the fact but Jonghyun was down right freaked out. “We have to save ourselves!” He blurred out but Kibum shut his locker with a loud bang. “Hyung, you are truly an idiot. This is something that will happen if we don’t blow ourselves up before that.”

Still Jonghyun felt a sinking feeling about his offspring all the way to his house. Kibum let him in his misery to entertain. Even if Jonghyun didn’t do it often, he looked cute when he was lost in thought. “Umma, we are home.” Jonghyun snapped out of his trance as Kibum pushed his body on the door to open it.

His mother’s smile appeared that second and she rushed them inside and to their table. “Did you study hard? Are hungry?” She asked already busying herself with making their favourites. “I’m starving.” Jonghyun replied, ignoring the studying part of the question.

Within no time, there was purple rice and grilled marcel placed on the table. As a special, a side dish of chapchae was added to the usual sides. Kibum thanked the ladies but Jonghyun was too busy stuffing his face already. Jonghyun eat more than his share while Kibum ate more coolly, talking to his mother-in-law. “Jonghyun is sleeping at my place tonight.” Kibum said and his mother looked surprised. “Oh that was a detail that Jonghyun didn’t say before.”

Oops, he forgot. His mother was giving him a stern look. Was she going to forbid him from going? “Yes, that was the plan. My mother will be doing the night shift and will only get back at six in the morning. I don’t want to be alone.” His mother’s eyes soften instantly. Well if it was to keep Kibum from being lonely then the lady could understand. “That is fine then.”

Of course, it was. It was just the next house. Jonghyun was basically home. When he was done with dinner, he told Kibum to go home while he got his stuff. That way they could change out of their uniforms and Jonghyun had time to hide the lube and smuggle it easier into Kibum’s room. The excitement was getting the better of him but Kibum didn’t seem to mind, it seemed to be because the younger thought that Jonghyun was just in idiot. Yet Jonghyun was an idiot with a plan.

When Jonghyun rang the doorbell, it took a while for Kibum. Maybe he was all the way upstairs, but when the younger opened the door Jonghyun pouted. Kibum’s hair was wet. He must have taken a shower and Jonghyun felt disappointed. “Why did you shower alone?” Kibum let him in and shrugged. “I always shower alone.” He played along, willing Jonghyun to suffer. “I would have washed your back.”

After all, they went to public baths before. But that was totally different. Kibum didn’t trust Jonghyun in the private of his own bathroom. It was one thing that they bathed together sometime ago but that was before all this mess. Kibum thought that he would not go to a public bathhouse in a long time again. He was never really comfortable to start with them in the first place.

He didn’t wait for Jonghyun to take off his jacket or shoes. Kibum was already headed to the living room and humming. Jonghyun followed on his tail, relaxed because he knew that Kibum’s parents were not home. He found the younger already lounging on the couch, laying like the princess he is. Jonghyun smiled this was perfect. Kibum was inviting him in his sweetest ways. 

The puppy jumped up the pillows startling Kibum just a bit. Before too long he was blinking for another reason. The elder had crawled over him, hovering so that their noses barely touched. “What are you planning.” Kibum whispered shyly for a change and Jonghyun smirked. “I have big plans.” He whispered back, his lips already set on finding Kibum’s.

Kissing on the couch sure was comfortable. Jonghyun was pressing against Kibum’s lips, the younger having no way to escape from the lip lock. Jonghyun was in control and he was taking it slow. The softness of the other’s lips getting too much and making him forget what else he should be doing. Kibum whimpered, a little kid that wanted more attention. It cause Jonghyun to smile, chuckle against his lips. “Sorry.”

His hands got into action. Jonghyun was feeling up his sides. The touch so light that it made Kibum scrum and down right gasp when Jonghyun got his hands under his shirt. “Sorry.” Jonghyun repeated, feeling everything but sorry. But it was a fleeting thought when Kibum’s skin called his attention. 

So soft, so creamy. Jonghyun licked his lips not realising that the escaped muscle had touched Kibum’s. The younger’s eyes fluttered and Jonghyun took his chance, nipping at the others. Getting the right reaction Jonghyun dove deep. Their tongues meeting it a while but will accustomed. A roll, a poke, they played for a bit until Kibum let Jonghyun win, because it seemed the right thing to do. It excited the elder in his little stupid way.

That way Kibum was free to have his hands lose into Jonghyun’s black hair. It was soft despite the fact that it was stubborn and stood up in any direction it wanted to. But that might have been because Jonghyun never brushed it. Kibum had to come to the rescue for it, combing it through his fingers to the point Jonghyun purred into the kiss.

It became easier to touch Kibum’s chest once Jonghyun had forced the shirt all the way under the younger’s chin. Shame that it hid the milky skin there so that Jonghyun could not bite it. But that didn’t matter when Jonghyun’s fingers found little pink nobs and a shock of pleasure made Kibum break the kiss. That was not all, it was enough for the younger’s body to struggle up forcing hips to hit together. Little me met little him and Jonghyun hissed.

Though it was the first knock and Jonghyun’s member only woke up. Maybe he should ask for a little bit of help. But instead of saying the magic words, the elder was moving down. He had so much skin to tease and Kibum was not stopping him. He was blushing, too shy to say anything, his cheeks tinted a perfect pink and his lips glossy with Jonghyun’s saliva.

Without warning Jonghyun attacked and missed Kibum’s nipple by millimetres. Well, it was important that he tried. Kibum giggled but it faded into a moan when lips moved a little to the left and covered set nob. Jonghyun suckled, gently at first but when he went slightly hard Kibum’s voice grew too. When he looked to his side, he saw that the other now had gotten hard too. Even without him touching it. It might have been from the frisky air but Jonghyun wanted to believe it was his doing. After all the younger was blushing so hard that even his ears had tinted.

The tv was ignored they only had eye for each other and even though everything was moved by excitement, nerves still played a big role. And while Jonghyun was busy, Kibum didn’t really know what he should do. The things Jonghyun did made him made all these weird sounds that he shouldn’t be making. He did thing to his body that Kibum had never felt. He was embarrassed and didn’t know what to do. How to touch Jonghyun or how to ask for more.

At this point Jonghyun was just grazing his lips over the soft skin of Kibum’s chest. Moving up just a bit so that he could lay down. His little friend was feeling uncomfortable, though he was wearing clean underwear and sweatpants. He was hard, oh so hard. The younger down right moan when this time their erections met. That had done it. Jonghyun was on the move. Not knowing if it was for selfish reasons or that he wanted to hear Kibum’s pleasure.

It wasn’t enough. Jonghyun was prepared he was going to get his way. He shouldn’t be blowing it up now. With shaky hands he got up and pulled at the strings of his pants. When the knot seemed to be double Jonghyun had no chance and he sat back and grumbled. Why did he have to fail now? He doubted that him being unable to undo a simple tie was the sexiest thing.

“Wait.” Jonghyun looked up. His hands stopping when Kibum bit his lip. Was it all wrong? Wasn’t he ready for this. Everything came crashing down, and Jonghyun felt a bit sick. He didn’t push Kibum to do anything he didn’t want, right? Jonghyun had lost his voice together with the sinking feeling in him. “We…” There was a pause before Kibum was brave enough to look at Jonghyun. “We should move to my room.”


	14. I'm a man now

Kibum guided him upstairs in what to Jonghyun felt a bit like a trance. He knew the way but still he couldn’t take his eyes of the younger. After all, if he would let Kibum go first he would have a view to look at. Round globes swayed teasingly in front of him and Jonghyun smiled despite himself. He was excited in more ways than one. This was it after all; Goodbye childhood. He was about to do grown up stuff.

He held the strap of his bag tighter. Inside there he had what he needed to make Kibum his. To claim him and make him fall fully for him. He was about to blow the younger away. The best thing was that Kibum knew this. His body was relaxing again, probably already excepting reality. Jonghyun would never hurt him; he could trust him.

Too soon, they reached Kibum’s room. Jonghyun smiled and sat his bag down in the corner and bent down to get the things that he needed. The younger gave him that privacy while he nervously again, alined his books. “You haven’t showered yet. Do you wan…” Kibum didn’t have the chance to ask properly. Jonghyun pressed himself against his back.

“I will do that later.” Jonghyun whispered close to the younger’s ear. The heat of his breath made Kibum cringe, but what was more pressing was Jonghyun’s little friend. It was hard and pressing against him without shame. It made Kibum swallow his nerves. He had already seen it a number of times but tonight he had to look at it in its ultimate form, his true function.

That was what Kibum was not ready for. He bit his lip but Jonghyun didn’t move. Well not fast anyways. He was swaying, holding the other close to him just so that their bodies warmed up again. Yet most of all for a little bit of the nerves and excitement to die down. Nobody would be happy if it would all end too soon. Jonghyun still had a bit of control in his system and he wanted to show it off.

“Relax.” Jonghyun whispered to help when his slow movements didn’t resolve Kibum’s stiff shoulders. The younger though turned around facing Jonghyun as if he wanted to say something. Nothing came from it but Kibum pushed the other just to get him to walk. Jonghyun let him be repositioned even letting him be pushed to sit down on the bed.

A smile betrayed him and he looked a little too hopeful. Kibum didn’t really know where he got the idea but he sat down on Jonghyun’s lap. His arms encircling the back of his hyung’s neck as he got comfortable. They held eye contact, while Jonghyun’s hands found the other’s hips. Kibum kissed him this time. A thing that was so uncommon that it made Jonghyun so much more excited than he should be.

It meant so much more than just a kiss, it meant that Kibum wanted him. Jonghyun pulled him closer. The bodies fully touching and Kibum’s hand cupping Jonghyun’s cheek. God, this was amazing. Even after a while, Kibum started to open his lips, a tongue unsure. He had never done that step but he didn’t wait for Jonghyun. The elder seemed too busy with how to spread his hands as wide as possible on his back.

With Kibum guiding the kiss everything was gentle, was slow. Kibum’s lips were always so soft and now that Jonghyun was under him he couldn’t chase them whenever he moved away. It was such a sweet torture. And when Kibum realised the power he had he abused it.

Pulling away enough for Jonghyun to pucker out his lips to the maxium just to be robbed from his kiss. It made him whine like a puppy wanting attention. And just as alluring as that puppy Kibum gave him that attention. Deepening the kiss Kibum squeaked when he pushed a little too hard and Jonghyun fell back.

It was Jonghyun’s plan, having Kibum on top of him. He like the idea of Kibum in control, that way he was sure that he would never move to fast. Though on the other hand, Kibum might look innocent and cute at times Jonghyun knew that the younger could be anything but. Kibum was blunt and always got what he wanted.

This time Kibum was the one pulling cloth. Jonghyun was always touching him and it should be just fair if he could get to do the same. Jonghyun wasn’t that shy as him, when Kibum had risen the clothe to his chin the other just lifted his arms like a little child that wanted to be freed. Well, it was not like he would be needing it.

Kibum helped the child and smiled. Jonghyun was kind of cute like this. He wasn’t a man yet, his shoulders still small, his chest flat, just a hint of muscles. Not much bigger than himself though Kibum knew that Jonghyun wanted to be a strong man he had not started working out yet. But it didn’t bother him. He like Jonghyun too much anyways.

“Cute.” Kibum giggled and poked his mole between his collarbones. The elder covered his chest all of a sudden unsure of Kibum. Why was he grinning at him like that? What was he thinking? To maybe change position? Jonghyun didn’t want anything of that. He grabbed Kibum’s hand and made a kissing mouth to get the other attention back to his face.

A smile broke on his lips before he lend down to kiss Jonghyun, knowing little about the elder’s set up trap. He was able to turn them around without much of a fight from Kibum’s side. With that thought in mind Jonghyun also pulled on the younger’s shirt. If he was shirtless why not everyone? Kibum smiled from under him and took off his own shirt to even the playing field.

They were again in the position they had never crossed that it was about to get awkward if Jonghyun didn’t do anything about it. He didn’t want to think, he didn’t like it that that moment Kibum looked unsure. Jonghyun lent down and kissed him, trying to swallow his nerves together with Kibum’s little moan. He was in between his legs again and feeling how hot it was there.

He couldn’t ignore the fact that Kibum was excited just as much as him. The kiss deepening again and Jonghyun’s hands going on adventure. Light touches that made the younger giggle into the kiss, lightening the mood. It was distracting Jonghyun and he broke the kiss just so that he could tickle him. Kibum’s hands were fighting, his eyes almost closed with his smile.

It was when Jonghyun liked Kibum the most. Kibum couldn’t hold back his laugh and his body rived to get away. Jonghyun had to hold Kibum’s hands to get to do what he wanted. but when he had the younger’s wrists pinned against the bed, he didn’t feel like tickling anymore.

Kibum was panting, his cheeks red, looking at Jonghyun, asking for it. Jonghyun bit his lip just before he lent closer to claim soft pink ones. Too soon, Kibum parted his lips for him and Jonghyun took his invitation. This was it, he was not going to stop now.

Their lips broke apart but stayed close. Jonghyun moved closer with his body trying to ignore the fact that he was feeling shy about it. He kissed Kibum’s cheek and then his neck. This was not his first time but still he didn’t know if he was doing the right thing. Kibum whimpered a little bit when Jonghyun’s lips had travelled a bit lower. He knew what was going to happen, his hands already fisting the sheets behind him.

Jonghyun kissed his nipple making Kibum feel strange. Why would Jonghyun do that? But Jonghyun kissed him there again, open mouthed now and hot. Kibum didn’t know why but he couldn’t help but moan. He was no girl but it felt good. The elder seemed to know that because he played more, even going to the other one to give in some attention.

It made Kibum forgive the hands that were now pulling at his pyjama pants. Jonghyun was hoping that Kibum didn’t notice it but that was a stupid thought. Of course, someone would feel it if their pants were pulled down. But the younger didn’t react, he didn’t fight it and Jonghyun was so grateful for it, if he would have been stopped he wouldn’t be able to continue after. It would just been too awkward.

But Kibum didn’t seem to mind it this time when Jonghyun moved away from kissing his chest to pull both their pants off fully. Kibum chose not to look, a nervous swallow going through his throat. Jonghyun climbed back on top of him and innocently kissed his cheek. “You okay?” He whispered and the younger could feel his cheeks heat up. “Yeah.” He whispered back as if there was someone else in the room that could hear.

This was their secret after all. No one should know about this. Kibum bit his lip when Jonghyun took his cheeks between his hands. “You sure?” Why was Jonghyun so sweet about it? Kibum could clearly feel the other’s excitement pressing against him and he was sure that Jonghyun could feel the same. Why was he still asking? Kibum grumbled, it made Jonghyun chuckle at the little brat.

“Can you just continue?” The younger pressed and Jonghyun nodded and puckered out his lips for a kiss. Kibum pushed Jonghyun away and looked to his side, too much pride to just give up like that. Jonghyun this time bit his lip. He sat back up and looked a little sheepish. What was he planning? Kibum watched him with a raised eyebrow.

The other was messing with the pants he already took off, looking for the pockets. “Please don’t kill me.” He whimpered as he found the right pocket and took something out that Kibum couldn’t see yet. The younger sat up and grasped at his hand. “What is it?” He hissed, somehow already knowing what to expect.

Jonghyun opened his hand and Kibum groaned. The elder was for real. Kibum looked over the bottle. How did the other even get this, did he go to the store by himself? Kibum blinked. “Did you buy this for us?” Jonghyun’s lips grew into a blinding smile. “Of course. I’m a grown up that way.” Kibum laughed, his eyes closing and letting himself fall back again. This was too much. “This is priceless.” Jonghyun pouted, well at least his embarrassing trip to the store amused Kibum. Just you wait, Jonghyun started to snicker, he would just prove how useful he really was.

Kibum’s giggle fell silent when Jonghyun cracked open the bottle. The younger had never even touched lube and he was curious what it even felt like. Of course he knew what it did but this was the real thing. Jonghyun opened the tap and even he didn’t really know what to suspect. The liquid was clear and flowed easily out of the bottle. Without really meaning too, a drop fell down and hit the sheets. Jonghyun’s heart dropped for a second but Kibum didn’t seem to have seen it. Just as quick the elder moved his knee over the dirty spot and wished for the best.

“Wow, this is so cool.” The younger said. Taking a little bit from Jonghyun’s cupped hand. It was sweet, with his eyes round like an innocent child. Shame that this was going to be used in anything but. Jonghyun smiled again and kissed Kibum’s forehead to get his attention again. “Shall we try it?” at once a blushed covered Kibum’s cheeks as if he had forgotten what type of position he was in. Still he nodded and laid back down.

Kibum surprised Jonghyun by taking off his own boxers, leaving him bare and did Jonghyun dare say it, Just like in his fantasy. But now was not the time to stare nor dream. The lube was seeping through his fingers and he needed to use it. With a quick motion he dumped it all on little Kibum, who hissed. Maybe he should have been more graceful. But Jonghyun made Kibum forget everything when he grasped his member and started to stroke.

Lube was the thing. Kibum through his head back and moaned while Jonghyun never expected a handjob to be that easy. Hell, he wanted to try it on himself. He should ask Kibum to return the favour. It looked so good, his hand moved so easily, with no friction what so ever. He bit his lip, damn he was treating Kibum right.

But he used a bit too much lube and the liquid was dripping down and he needed to get it before it touched the sheets. His hand lowered and Kibum shivered, his knees spreading further apart. Somehow Jonghyun ended up making more of a mess. His fingertips touched his final destination and he was nervously looking up. Was it okay? Kibum couldn’t look at him, his shyness taking his tongue but still there was no protest.

Jonghyun took a big gulp of air. Well, here he goes. His finger was drawing a circle at a place he even was still too shy to look at. But he touched it, he did and again. Jonghyun had to mean it and bit his lip. His finger pressed and passed the ring of muscles. He was in, Jonghyun blinked and remembered what that meant. He looked up to see Kibum’s expression but it didn’t seem that uncomfortable.

Jonghyun moved his finger and still the younger didn’t fight him. Was he too proud? Jonghyun lent closer and kissed Kibum’s chest. “Are you okay?” he asked and there was a moment of no answer. “Yeah.” He was breathless, concentrating on something different. Jonghyun nodded just to comfort himself. He needed to trust Kibum on this one. He didn’t know what he was doing but he was moving ever so slightly.

Kibum had already excepted it and Jonghyun didn’t even think it was that bad. Not when Kibum started to moan a little. The elder started to get more courage at that point. He started to add another finger though biting his own lip when he saw that Kibum flinched. “Sorry.” He whispered, kissing Kibum’s skin again. He tried to make it better. Distracting Kibum with soft kisses and his free hand squeezing Kibum’s small hip.

But it seemed to pass soon enough the younger was relaxed again, moaning again in minutes and Jonghyun didn’t know what to do then. Well he did but was he ready. “Bum?” He asked his fingers slowing down making the younger open his eyes and hiss. He was enjoying himself. Why did he dare to stop.

“More?” Jonghyun asked unsurely and Kibum just wanted to hit him. He was spread out on his bed, his legs opened and fingers where they shouldn’t be. How dare Jonghyun ask? But then again he knew what the elder was really asking. More, as in can we continue? Can we go all the way? Jonghyun was giving him unsure puppy eyes.

“Yeah, more.” Kibum whispered as if he was scared that some one would hear. Jonghyun’s lips started to grin like he was allowed to get candy. His fingers left Kibum and the younger felt strange again. This was it after all. Jonghyun was off the bed and shrugging off his boxers, grapping the lube again. Kibum turned his head, listening to what sounded like plastic. Jonghyun was hiding what he was doing, but Kibum saw the foil of a condom flutter on to his floor. His nerves wouldn’t take it well. Especially when Jonghyun sighed, probably when he was preparing himself with the lube there was.

Kibum wondered if he should ask Jonghyun to turn off the lights but it seemed already too late. The younger felt how Jonghyun got back on the bed and in between his legs. He took a deep breath and Jonghyun mirrored to. “Ready?” Kibum faced him, looking down how Jonghyun held his knees. “Ready as I ever be.” Jonghyun could give him a smile though and stroked his cheeks in affection.

With that, he guided and pressed his little man against Kibum. The younger pressed down all his fears and tried so hard to relax but when pressure became harder Jonghyun hissed. “Bum…” He lean back a bit but Kibum didn’t except it. “Sorry, just go.” This time the elder looked worried. Still he tried again. Maybe a little harder. Kibum breathed out and gasped. His muscles relaxing enough to make Jonghyun groan as he passed in.

That was it. It was official. They were having sex and fuck it hurt. Kibum bit his lip, trying not to cry while Jonghyun had a hard time breathing. It was too tight. This was too warm. It was painful, even for him. Yet he put up a brave face and stroked Kibum’s cheek again. His eyes were watering, but he pressed deeper. “Go.” But this time Jonghyun didn’t want to follow Kibum’s order. He had to take his own time for a second.

After that second, Jonghyun moved again, this time trying his best to ignore Kibum’s obvious discomfort. Maybe this wasn’t that good of an idea, he could wait. But Kibum didn’t have that patience, his hands had a death grip on the other’s biceps making pulling back impossible. Jonghyun could only move forward. Carefully he pushed in more, grimacing at Kibum’s hiss. Maybe more lube.

He was pulling back when the younger opened his eyes. Jonghyun didn’t realise they were tearing until one fell. It made him forget his idea and lunge forward again. “Bummie?” He was hovering on his elbows now face centimetres away. “Are you okay?” Jonghyun whispered and his hands combed through the others hair. The younger nodded despite everything while his breathe betrayed him in shaky pants.

“I will be alright.” He whispered when he saw Jonghyun’s twisted face. “We can never get on with it, if we keep stopping.” He added to lighten the mood. And it was the truth, Jonghyun knew it but it seemed so unfair for Kibum to have to feel that way. Wasn’t sex the more pleasurable thing there was? Then why was Kibum crying?

Jonghyun bit his lip. He knew what he needed to do then and there. He had read about it, and now he needed proof. There should be a pleasure spot somewhere deep in that hot heaven he was in. If he was able to find it then this was real. But how to go about it?

Jonghyun rolled his hips just a bit again not getting a good reaction. Maybe he should distract Kibum, maybe he should distract himself a bit. It was so warm, so tight. He gasped before kissing Kibum pouring all his own pleasure into it to maybe get Kibum to enjoy it too. It worked well enough, the younger kissed him back if not harder.

Another roll and Jonghyun started to move easier. That was a big mistake. The way Kibum started to feel now was just too much. Jonghyun broke the kiss to breath, his hips just fastening up without much thought. To think about it, Jonghyun couldn’t think anymore. Oh, dear god this was feeling good. And if Kibum was hurting he didn’t let out any sign.

“Ah..” Kibum clapped his hand over his mouth but Jonghyun heard it. That was not pain; that was something very different. Jonghyun jumped on it, finally feeling like he was doing something right. The younger’s eyebrows where pulled together and his pants escaped between his fingers. Oh how Jonghyun wished that that hand wasn’t there.

This was getting so much better than he ever imagined, not that he often did. But Kibum could not hold his breath and he freed himself just so that he could fist the pillow behind him. The was the moment Jonghyun took a better view, pushing himself up on his hands and starting to really thrust.

Kibum was enjoying this. He was enjoying it too much. His cheeks were blooming, eyes closed and mouth open. Gasping every time Jonghyun pushed in. Deeper now, the elder had to bite his lip to keep him from making a sound. Kibum was getting more vocal, his pants holding a tone that Jonghyun liked.

Was this as good as it would get? Jonghyun didn’t know how much longer he could go. It was too tight, too hot for him. He couldn’t help it if he would blow it right. It was just his first time. “Ah, Bum…” he closed his eyes, fearing for the worse. At once, there was force on his shoulders and Jonghyun fell back. He slipped out, blinking to get any sense of the world. Kibum was sitting up too. His face just as shocked at his own actions. “Sorry... I thought…” He whispered unable to finish his sentence when shyness took it. “I was about to…” The cat seemed to have Jonghyun’s tongue as well but Kibum found his. “Yeah, I know. That's why I… I didn’t want to stop yet.”

Oh. Oh, okay. Jonghyun understood what just happened. His lips formed a smirk and he got closer. He had calmed down enough and Kibum needed to pay up for his little actions. Their lips met and Jonghyun’s hands found Kibum’s legs spreading them apart a bit more, just because he could.

Kibum pulled back, Jonghyun continued his kiss onto his neck. “Wait, use some more lube.” Kibum whimpered as he felt Jonghyun poke him. “You sound like you have no shame.” The elder smiled against the skin, he liked this type of eagerness from Kibum.

While the younger looked blindly for the little bottle behind him, Jonghyun got hold of one of the pillows. He put it behind Kibum’s back so that when he laid back down he would be a little higher.

It seemed that Kibum had found what he was looking for. He opened the bottle and looked at Jonghyun. All of a sudden he felt a little evil. After all, Kibum had never touched him yet. So he didn’t move waiting for the younger to catch on. It didn’t even take that long. It was cold after all with the bit of sweat that shimmered on his chest. He needed warmth and Jonghyun was just asking for him to pay a little.

With a roll of his eyes, he poured into his own hand and held eye contact as he reached between them. Jonghyun licked his lips and moaned softly when someone else touched him for the first time. Sweet heavens this was good, not like it was when he touched himself. Kibum’s hands seemed softer, warmer. The lube making the path so much easier.

“There.” Kibum stopped and leant back again. Jonghyun had to pout but just for that second he forgot what he really should be doing. He followed the younger’s lead and lend over him again while Kibum relax.His arms reaching out and pulling Jonghyun closer for a little kiss. Jonghyun needed a hand to help him guide backing into the tight warmth.

The lift on the other’s hips did make it easier for him but Kibum still grimaced when he got entered. The feeling still a bit to foreign for him. At this point Jonghyun knew that all he could do was make it better. The lube did make it an easier job and he was sliding in and out at once, watching as one expression changed into another. Their heartbeats started to fasten; their pants mixing again as they found themselves were they left off just before.

But this time Jonghyun didn’t want to stop. He wanted to lose it, he wanted to see Kibum lose it. The idea of a magic button still haunting him. His hips starting to dare more and pressing harder. Until he felt he could not go any deeper, when Kibum started to whimper again. Jonghyun blushed, his balls where hitting Kibum and the idea seemed dirty but now, oh it felt so good.

“Jong…” No, oh don’t do that. Jonghyun whimpered himself, Kibum couldn’t do this to him not when he was so close. He lend closer wanting to kiss those lips that called his name. Big mistake.

Kibum threw his head back. “Ah!” oh, that. That was it. Kibum grew so tight, perfect. Jonghyun’s hips pushed more and the other cried again. “Oh…”Jonghyun moaned, his poor senses at their limit. He couldn’t continue like this. Kibum was pulling him closer, in more. His nails clawing into his back and moaning with every move.

“Bum…” Jonghyun whimpered hopelessly, his hips failing him when he felt Kibum’s walls fighting him. His eyes were rolling back and he knew that the condom was doing its job, stopping it from getting it all messy. Jonghyun collapsed onto Kibum, panting in his exhaustion. He couldn’t even open his eyes. Kibum’s arms encircling him and letting him rest on him.

“Wow.” The younger whispered, his fingers messing with Jonghyun’s hair. The elder hummed, a content smile on his lips. It was really ‘wow’. “I didn’t know it was like that.” No neither did Jonghyun. It was better than he thought and just knowing that he would get better at it, Kibum would never leave him.

“You are getting heavy.” Kibum was specially talkative after sex Jonghyun realised. He pouted and got back up. His little man slipping out and quickly softening. Jonghyun looked down, proud of himself, even more so when he found his stomach was specially wet, and it seemed a little milky. Jonghyun smirked.

“You came.” Jonghyun stated and if Kibum was not already blushing he would be now. “Idiot.” It was the only thing Kibum could think of and all Jonghyun deserved. Of course he came.


	15. Start the real puppy training

“Kibumie~” Jonghyun was annoying. But it made Kibum roll his eyes in an endearing way this time. “What.” Of course the elder was way too high to get effected with Kibum’s icy remark. “Lets shower together.” Kibum gave him that look that told Jonghyun he was mad for even asking but than again; what did Kibum have to fight for? He was already naked in his bed, cuddled up to Jonghyun in their after sex glow. Jonghyun just wanted to finish the treatment with washing his back. That didn’t sound that terrible.

Kibum hummed a little as if he was thinking about it but Jonghyun already knew. “Well, fine.” He was starting to get sleepy and if Jonghyun wouldn’t have asked he would fall asleep just like that. If that was going to be possible. He was feeling sore now and if he believed the myth of gay sex, tomorrow morning he wouldn’t be able to move. He was not looking forward for that. Worse, how would he explain it to his parents? So he gave Jonghyun his hand and got his clothes again.

The bathroom was downstairs and there was nobody in the house. Still it was odd to walk around butt naked and even more so when he caught Jonghyun staring at him. When did Jonghyun even start to stare at him in that way? Kibum grew shy and rushed into the shower, dropping his clothes in the sink. Jonghyun was giggling, like a puppy who was thinking that they were playing chase. He didn’t even bother bringing his clothes.

“I always wanted to shower with you.” Jonghyun said when he took the shower from the other while he was still finding the correct temperature. “What are you talking about? We have showered before.”

"It was never just the two of us." Jonghyun whispered as he got closer to Kibum. The younger had found the right temperature and straightened up. "Why did you want to do that? We have been in public bathhouses when we were younger. And now you say this?" Jonghyun pouted and passed the showerhead over the other's chest, making sure that it was all wet. "We were children then. But you never went after middle school and let alone high school."

Kibum rolled his eyes and took the water to give Jonghyun the same treatment. "I thought you have figured out my secret at this point." He gave the shower back to Jonghyun and turned to search for some soap. At once a chest was pressed against his back. "Yes but that still doesn't mean that I didn't want to go." Kibum sighed and placed his hand over his. "I don't think I will ever go there again. And you can't either."

Kibum left their little hug to get the soap and turned. "Why are you pouting?" The younger chuckled. The other was looking miserable. "Why can't I go?" Jonghyun asked like he was a little child, innocent of the world. Kibum raised his eyebrows but still poured some soap on the sponge and fluffed it up. "Don't you think that it's weird? A room full of naked men?" Kibum asked, his hand spreading foam on the others chest. "What is so weird about it?"

Jonghyun's hands where holding his hips and Kibum started to be shy again. This conversation was showing that Jonghyun still didn't understand what they were doing but why was he holding him like this? "Jonghyun, I'm gay. That is why I don't want to go there. It would be like being in a room of naked women for you." What was he saying? He gave a sad smile. After all, maybe Jonghyun was straight after all this.

Yet the idiot started to feel the discomfort. He pulled Kibum closer and he was grateful for that. The younger didn't know what to say, what he could say. He had been enjoying himself too much but reality was crashing down. And it was so hard to swallow. Jonghyun passed the warm water over his back and snuggled him even closer. "I want to go with you so that I have something to look at."

That sweet talker. It made Kibum smile. Why was he not believing Jonghyun? Why, from all the time he could doubt him, he was doubting now? There was a sick silence, as if he was taunted to think on the matter.

"Kibum?"

 

The younger hummed. Not ready to pull away just yet. Jonghyun was making sure that he was warm. Passing the water over them and some times a little between them. His body was starting to give up on him. His eyes dropping hand everything feeling heavy. His body was feeing weird.

 

“I only want to take baths with you.” Jonghyun whispered. Surely he was getting tired too. Kibum pulled away and snickered. The elder was an idiot. What did he even mean with that? Kibum didn’t want to spend the last of his energy figuring that out. He had to clean himself but Jonghyun took over the sponge and the task. Kibum hummed in contend. He didn’t have the energy to be shy anymore and he didn’t have the energy to fight when once again Jonghyun captured him in a hug.

 

“Kibum?”

 

It was as if Jonghyun was thinking too much. Like he didn’t know how to get the words around to get across his point. As if his life was just too difficult. Like he didn’t know how to talk. Kibum didn’t feel like pulling it out of him. His body lost the will to fight and he started to lean more and more on Jonghyun. “Jong?” If the other was not going to say anything, he will. “Jong, take me to bed.”

 

That could be so wrong. But Jonghyun wasn’t in that state of mind. He hooked his arm around Kibum’s waist and turned off the water. He pulled Kibum closer and handed him a towel when he could reach them. Jonghyun dried himself but noticed that Kibum was too sleepy to do it properly. Jonghyun ended up helping, drying his back. “Come on, lets go.”

 

Kibum was all dressed up in his pyjamas while Jonghyun hid his jewels with a small towel. He should have brought his pyjamas in the first place. But it didn’t really matter when Kibum face planted his bed and Jonghyun was given all the peace and quiet he needed to get dressed.

 

“Are you really that tired?” Jonghyun asked as he sat on the edge of the bed, petting Kibum’s hair. He was never really allowed to do that but somehow he had this feeling that he was allowed to now. Kibum hummed, no fight left in him. “I feel so sleepy. I just want to...” He turned on to his back and held his arms out, pouting. “Hug?” Jonghyun had to do everything in his power to not laugh, still his hand came up and covered his mouth so that his smile wouldn’t break his face.

 

“Shit.” He swore before he gave up and fell into Kibum’s arms. His arm around the younger’s hips pulling him just that tiny bit closer. “I didn’t know that you could be that cute.” Kibum closed his eyes slowly, looking quite pleased with himself. “I have some charms.” Jonghyun couldn’t agree less. Kibum had a lot more but he doubted that Kibum even knew about them. Only he knew about the way Kibum couldn’t help but make a cute pout when he was studying. Or a habit to walk in a line when he needed to get somewhere fast, it made him look like a model rather than anything else. The way his cheeks flushed first when he started to exercise.

 

It was these details Jonghyun only knew and with that information he felt like he had the right to be Kibum’s pillow. The younger found a comfortable spot for his head just on the dip where Jonghyun’s arm attached his chest. Their legs messing up and entwining together.

 

“Kibum?” Jonghyun didn’t see that the younger rolled his eyes. “What? What do you want to ask?” It was getting quite annoying. He was comfortable and he wanted to sleep. If Jonghyun didn’t know how to say whatever he wanted to say then he shouldn’t start. There was a pause, and Kibum shook his head, getting ready to sleep again. “Ask it tomorrow.” He ordered and Jonghyun hummed. 

 

He kissed the top of Kibum’s head because that is what he saw that guy in that one drama do. But still he wasn’t happy about it. Why was this so hard to do? Why was he thinking so much? His body now also felt heavy but his mind was still racing. He swallowed the lump in his throat. Maybe it was best to let Kibum have his beauty sleep.

 

“Kibum.” He whispered again, so softly that the younger couldn’t hear it. He had waited anyways until the younger’s breath had evened out and he was sure that he had fallen asleep. “Can… can I be your boyfriend?” He whispered. It was easy to whisper it like that. Jonghyun nodded to himself and petted Kibum’s shoulder. Yes, practice makes perfect. “Can I be your boyfriend?” He said again, this time without a stutter.

 

“Can I be your boyfriend?” He whispered again, finalizing the tone and his nerves. Tomorrow he would have to ask Kibum. He knew how to do it now. “Can I be your-” “Yes! Now shut up.” Jonghyun blinked. Shit. Kibum was glaring at him. “Did… did I wake you up?” The younger rolled his eyes. “Of course you did. I’m sleeping on your chest. I can hear everything.”

 

Well, Kibum had a point. But then it all fell together. “So you are my boyfriend?” Kibum could get dizzy if he rolled his eyes one more time. “Yeah.” He nagged and turned, “Now let me sleep.” Jonghyun’s smile hurt him but he was not letting Kibum go just like that. He spooned his new lover and kissed his shoulder. “I can’t sleep.” He said with the sear happiness that was going through him there was no way.

 

“That is because you are not even trying.” Kibum grumbled. But he understood where Jonghyun was coming from. His cheeks were heavy with a blush, he didn’t want Jonghyun to see that. Kibum felt another kiss on his shoulder. It made him smile maybe this was not going to be so bad.

 

He turned and felt lucky. It was good that it was so dark but he missed Jonghyun’s lips when he tried to kiss them. Jonghyun giggled but kissed back when Kibum found his. “Are you going to be kind to me?” He asked and felt a pet on his buttock. “Only if you don’t murder me before.” That was a good point, Kibum giggled. They were still their stupid self and that relaxed him.

 

Maybe they would be the same but just with more skinship. Even more than they already had. But behind closed doors Kibum wouldn’t deny Jonghyun anything. It seemed not such a terrible idea. The younger one snuggled closer to Jonghyun’s chest. “Don’t be an idiot then.” He muttered but Jonghyun rumbled with a giggle. “I can’t promise that. Plus that would be boring.”

 

Kibum snorted, true. It would be very boring if Jonghyun would start using his brain. It was best for his entertainment for him to use those two cells he was overworking. Though something told him that Jonghyun wouldn’t be such a bad boyfriend. Plus he still had time to potty train him.

 

He snuggled closer. Tomorrow was day one and Kibum had a lot of work to do. Step one, was to teach Jonghyun what he could do in public. Step two, would be going over the rules of their relationship. Kibum took a deep breath. Yes, this would be fun. He was so warm now, and somehow his back was not killing him. Maybe that was because Jonghyun was pressing his fingertips into the muscles in a little massage.

 

He hummed one final time. Jonghyun was already doing a good job. No wait. His boyfriend already did a good job. The thought made him giggle. The ring seemed contagious and Jonghyun joined. “Kibum?” For the last time the younger rolled his eyes. “Just talk. You are my boy-”

 

“Thank you.” Jonghyun sounded sincere. That had surprise Kibum. For what was Jonghyun thankful for? It should be him saying that. Not only had the other excepted him when he spilled his secret. He made his fantasy come true. Jonghyun had returned his feelings. After so many years, Kibum could finally kiss Jonghyun whenever he wanted to. After all these years he did not have to long for more attention, now his one sided love would be at an end. After all these years he didn’t have to be scared to go up to Jonghyun’s room all alone and resist temptation.

 

Finally, Jonghyun would be only his. Kibum couldn’t hold in his smile any longer. “No, Hyung. Thank you.” He snuggled closer and received his kiss on his forehead.

 

“Good night, Bummie.”

“Good night, Jjongie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! 
> 
> I just want to note that this story was written between December 2015 until Aug 2016. I just wanted to add it to this site too since I think you might enjoy it too. You are welcome.


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